


Oxford Comma

by 22Toma_Haito22



Category: Battery (Anime)
Genre: Angst, M/M, this is unedited for the most part so there will be mistakes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-01-06 23:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12220833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/22Toma_Haito22/pseuds/22Toma_Haito22
Summary: A year has passed since Shun and Shugo have last seen each other and things are well.Shun is lazing around enjoying his life as a high school student while Shugo is working hard as a regular for his baseball team.Everything is going just as planned until a new teacher arrives at Shuns school as well as a new baseball team and thoroughly interupts the ease of Shuns daily routine.





	1. Prologue

When Shun told him he hated him Shugo knew that that wasn‘t all that was there to it. But it was Shuns only way to tell him. They had been together for so long he knew it was just his own way to free himself.  
And Shugo respected that. 

And, on the day of their graduation, he also accepted his decision to change his mind and tell him after all. 

“Bye then.” Shun said. Diploma in hand, he turned but stopped before he reached the front gate of Shugos house.  
His shoulders rose as he took a deep breath, opened his mouth and closed it again, hesitating. “…There’s still one more thing I need to before I can really graduate Junior High.”  
He turned around and walked back to Shugo, only stopping a few feet away from him.

“What?” Shugo asked curiously. 

Another deep breath filled Shuns lungs with air. He had a serious expression on his face. Solemn, almost. For someone who didn’t know him it would have looked normal but there was a lot more behind that surface. 

“Close your eyes.” 

Shugo was reluctant. The last time he didn’t pay close enough attention and closed his eyes in front of him had ended with a punch to the stomach. He doubted it was going to happen again but still…  
Shun tended to teach him lessons that way. Don’t get too fixated on believing you know someone. Or something along that line.

Shuns lips stretched upward into a small smile, accompanies by a mocking gleam. “I won’t punch you. I’ve already got that off my list.”  
There was only one more thing to do.

A bit reluctant Shugo did as he was told and closed his eyes.

‘He’s so trusting.’ Shun thought, amused.

He took one last, so close their feet were almost touching and stood up on his tiptoes.

It was chaste and quick, yet it felt like it lasted for an eternity. Lingering, with a tingling sensation on his lips. It was a lonely feeling. Almost as if it didn’t happen at all. But it did. Because whenever he thought of it, the memory would return. 

When Shun pulled away he held his head low. Eyes fixed on the ground, away from him.  
“I just wanted you to know.” He said without looking at him.  
It truly was a lonely feeling. Yet, even with all that Shugo felt his chest swell up with pride. Because Shun trusted him enough, cared enough that he wanted him to be aware of it. Didn’t want to leave things unfinished and nothing unsaid. 

The thing was, Shugo still had a lot of things to say. 

Shun slowly stepped away with a small smile on his lips. Now he could finally move on. It wasn’t until he reached the front gate that Shugo called out to him.

“Shun.”

He didn’t turn around, just looked over his shoulder. 

Shugos eyes were glimmering, yet, he was smiling. 

“See ya!”

Shun huffed in amusement. His shoulders slacked as he smiled to himself. Maybe it was stubbornness that made him refuse to accept how things were. Whether they were parting ways or not, he wanted to see him again. The urge to defy getting separated. It was just so Shugo.  
Shun didn’t mind it all that much.

He waved him off over his shoulder before once more, and maybe for the last time, he met Shugos eyes.

“See ya.”


	2. Welcome with unwelcome surprises

Shun wanted to move on from junior high baseball and everything that had to do with it. He chose Nishiura High specifically because it had no baseball team.  
It wasn’t like he hated Shugo. They were on good terms and in the end, if they saw each other there would be no angry glares or awkwardness. He’d be happy to chat and even if they didn’t have the chance to they’d be looking at each other with glances of affection.

However, non of that changed his decision. He had made up his mind and wasn’t going to change it any time soon. He had told him and Shugo accepted it. In his own terms, admittedly, but he accepted. 

Thinking of him made him happy but it still hurt a little…

His first year passed just like he had planned.  
Nothing of interest happened. It was hard and strict. Maybe even stricter than Junior High. Being demoted back to first year after a year of being understandably respected was annoying as well as some of the third years antics but it was nothing he couldn’t deal with. Or had any control over for that matter. It was clear from the beginning that high school would be that way. He had no huge problems with the senpais, not to say there weren’t any, but he mainly kept clear of them, made some friends and lazed around for an entire year. 

And god, if it hadn’t felt good!

The lack of the physical exercise he had been used to for years was strange. Missing the strain, his muscles had felt kind of wobbly for some time until he grew used to it. 

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss it. The time, and how he had enjoyed just playing baseball together at Yokote and even before that, being out on the field, the feeling of his bat connecting with the ball- sometimes he had considered joining a different club just to get rid of the feeling of restlessness- but he had decided to get away from sports altogether. He was afraid he’s just end up falling back into old habits if he joined any sports team.  
He’d constantly been thrown back into his time at Yokote, where they played and just had fun like their time together would never end.

The thing was that it did. 

And it was over way too quick, yet it couldn’t end fast enough.

And for him, he was caught between not wanting it to end and not being able to get to the end of it fast enough. He wished the old times back and wanted to move on simultaneously. 

It had been a hard time for him.

He just wanted his peace after all he had been thought. High school was a rest for him and took it just like he had told Shugo. 

He deserved it.

……

 

But fate was a bitch and that all changed during his second year.

Around the second week of after returning to school, the baseball field, that had been vacant and overgrown with weeds for years, looked different from before. 

It had been there like a big but unimportant presence of the school grounds. No one ever went there aside from the soccer team or other kids who wanted to kick a ball around while the clubs claimed ownership of the gym, since it offered neither protection from rain nor sun light or prying eyes. 

Around half of the weed had been removed and there were a few first years and a man in his late thirties or early forties, who he later found out to be the coach, on the field occupied with trying to make the rest of it assessable. 

Sometimes Shun watched them through a second story window. They were practicing pretty enthusiastically though the practice regiment seemed rather dull if not to say impractical. Honestly, the didn’t do a lot. What they did for stretching didn’t look sufficient, sometimes they were just standing around swinging the bat completely at random, no one was pitching, and when a ball was thrown either for batting or while playing catch, they either threw it like a kid would throw rocks into a river or like a fielder.  
Really, there seemed to be some complications.  
Not that Shun cared. It wasn’t his problem.

Indeed practice didn’t go as planned, or rather, how the kids expected it to be. 

“Sensei.” 

The coach, who had been watching the team, or been pretending to, turned his head to look at the first year that was approaching him. He was thin and relatively tall for a fifteen year old. He was wearing a mitt that even still had the ball he had just been playing catch with for a while, in it. 

“It can’t go on like this. What are we going to do?” He was a bit hesitant to say it. It was intimidating to speak like that to his coach but it was obvious that someone had to, so he just bit his tongue and went through it. He had been assigned as captain after all. 

The other team members slowly joined them, hesitant and looking at each other like a bunch of lost puppies but also curious about what their captain would do. Non of them had proper experience but they were also apprehensive to complain to their coach.

The coach smirked. “I know what to do.” 

The team members faces lid up with relief and curiosity. 

“There’s a second year who’s a former member of Yokote Junior High, a team that played on a national level.” the coach said.

“Do you mean Mizugaki?” another team member, shorter than the lanky captain and more stocky but with equally black hair, asked. He had been assigned as vice captain for being a good team player.

The coach nodded.

“Mizugaki? Who’s that?” a team member with short curly hair asked excitedly.

“Uh, he’s a second year who used to be a regular of a pretty good team.”

“That’s all nice and well but is he good?” a big guy, sporting a buzz-cut and a body build like a brick wall, asked skeptically. His voice that was equally as masculine as his appearance. 

“Good enough to go to the nationals himself.” the coach bragged.

“Then why did he go to a school without a team?” the captain asked.

“He quit in high school but that doesn’t mean he won‘t be a great asset to our team. Get him to join!” the coach ordered.

Immediately the team members stood rigid. “Yes, Sir!”

 

….…

 

When Shun opened the door to look for a chill spot for his lunch break he jumped almost a foot into the air, being met with a first year who was way too close. He must have been standing with the tip of his nose right to the door. Talk about timing…

“What the hell!?” Shun blurted out, starring down at the first year. 

He was small, had a round face and curly light brown hair as well as a beaming bright smile on his face.  
Another first year was standing behind him. That one with black hair and of average high. He also had an expression that made him look like he was constantly spacing and kind of stupid even though Shun was sure that was just his normal face, but damn that kid looked awkward.  
And also kind of familiar. Both of them did.

“You’re Mizugaki, right?” the curly haired first year asked, ignoring his rather angry outbreak.

“Uh, yeah, why?”

“Join our team!”

Having no idea who those people were, Shun raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“The baseball team. You went to Yokote, right? Join us!”

Now he remembered them. They were both members of the new team,  
He had seen them the few times he watched from the window or strode past the field on his lunch break, which, while he was at it, really wanted to go on now.

Maybe a year ago he would have made a different decision but he was long over wanting to return to baseball. He just watched them out of curiosity and maybe a sense of nostalgia but he had no interest in joining.

“No.”

“Huh, why not?” the curly haired first year asked, as if it was completely past him that he didn’t immediately jump on his offer, or rather, demand.

“That’s non of your business.” 

Speaking for the first time, the taller first year stepped forward. “Please, Senpai, you would be a great asset to our team!” He even went as far as to bow down in front of him.  
The other first year quickly joined beside him and did the same. His curly hair bounced up and down with the motion, which was kind of hypnotizing. 

“Hey, Omizu, what are you doing? Getting a double confession?” Karaki called out from where he was sitting. Which just happened to be Shuns spot. Why was he doing that in the first place? Go to your own seat, god damn it!

“Not interested.” Shun said and slammed the door shut. 

He was eating lunch inside today.

 

……….

 

He thought that settled it and was proven wrong the next day.  
And the day after, and the day after that, and the day after the day after that, he was welcome with unwelcome surprises.

They waited for him in front of his class during lunch break and sometimes during the short transition time between classes. Each of those encounters ended in a rejection of various variations of “Nope.” “Not interested.” “I already told you, not interested.” “Stop getting on my nerves.” -and his all time favorite- “Win the nationals and I’ll consider it.” It went on like that for almost a month and Shun was beginning to consider to just report them to the dean for harassing him. Saying they were distracting him from his studies should be enough to get them to back off.

Shun let out a yell as he threw the other boy over his shoulder and slammed him onto the mat with a satisfying thud.

He let go of his uniform and straightened his own. “Next!” he shouted smugly at the rather horrified looking members of the judo club. 

It was a wonderful outlet for stress, be it exams or annoying stalker first years and their stupid coach.  
His opponent sat up, looking ruffled that a guy half his size (and weight) with no experience had just kicked his ass like a pro.

“Omizu! You totally overdid it!” Karaki, who had joined the team half through his first year out of boredom, shouted.

“Ah, you’re exaggerating. They can take it.”

Shun cracked his knuckles with a devilish grin on his face. “Come at me!”

“Is he really not a member?” a huge guy in the same year as them asked, bending down to whisper at Karaki. 

“He’s just got a lot of stuff to work through…” Karaki said as Shun slammed another guy onto the mat. 

They had to give up some day. He noticed that even the tenacious curly-haired first year was beginning to understand that he just really didn’t want to join. The captain had tried to talk to him with a more decent approach. Trying to explain their predicament and make him understand. Of course even he had gotten dismissed and brushed off. He could understand their situation but it wasn’t his problem anymore.  
At this point he was just being stubborn. Had they not been pestering him he would have showed up and helped them out on occasion, without joining though. So their coaches decision was just making everything harder for them.

…………

 

“Just keep on pestering him. Don’t give up!”

“But Coach, I think we’re really bothering him…” the curly haired first year said, feeling uncertain and a bit guilty. 

The others agreed. Not verbally or even physically, though some nodded very subtly. But they looked just as unsure as him, beginning to feel guilty for having pestered the second year for weeks. They didn’t want to annoy him like that either. They had seen him watch them sometimes but aside from that he hadn’t shown any interest in baseball.

“No, he’ll have to give up some day. Keep up the good work. You’re doing it just right!” the coach insisted. “He was good enough to receive a scholarship. Though he turned it down we need him on our team.”

That helped getting the teams motivation up again. A little, at least. Playing baseball with someone of that caliber got them excited and helped them overlook the uncomfortable feeling. 

The coach rubbed his sad attempts of a beard, proud pf his work  
Getting them to think it was their own work was exactly what he needed to get them off his case.  
But Shun was taking a bit too long for his taste. Kindly, he had given him the chance but the second year just had to act like a stubborn teenager.  
He had tried playing nice. Now he was going to do his work.

 

………..

 

Shun just wanted to go home already. Having had the unfortunate luck to get stuck doing cleaning duty with two not very present people and then getting caught by a teacher who hadn’t managed to snatch another student out of the let’s-get-the-hell-out-of-here rush to get them to help carry their paperwork -not like he had any other stuff to do, like do his homework, have fun or this absurd thing called “Free time”- (note the sarcasm) thanks to all of that he was very late. 

Only few students remained. Mainly the ones in the art room and the library. 

Absentmindedly he played with his earring as he walked through the empty hallway. Without the presence of other students his steps send awfully loud echoes through the early long path. He just wanted to get his bag and go home. Even his friends had ditched him. Damn those traitors.

He hadn’t even been on cleaning duty but the teacher let the next best student on the list take care of it since miss class rep, who had been on cleaning duty just had to yell at the other student on cleaning duty and was getting an earful together with her followed by detention. Because she decided it was a good idea to climb in through the window -of the second story- after being late.  
But that wasn’t why miss class rep had yelled at her. No, it was because it caused her panties to be easily visible from below. And using the choice words of telling her to stop showing off her panties caused all the male-and some female- students of the neighboring classes to lean dangerously far out of the windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of the aforementioned panties. 

One of them was going to be receive the nickname “panty girl” for the next few months. He hadn’t decided which one yet.

Shun passed the faculty office when he heard his name being called. Turning around he spotted a man standing behind him. He recognized him though he had never seen him up close. It was the baseball coach.

“I’d like to speak with you for a moment.” the coach said.

Shun wanted to roll his eyes but kept up his indifferent expression. He already knew what it was going to be about. He could tell by his smile.

“Sensei, it’s late, I’d like to go home.”

It was rude but seriously, Shun didn’t want to waste his time. He wanted to home, do his schoolwork, relax and go to sleep, not deal with this. 

The coaches smile whidened to an extend his cheeks showed dimples. “It won’t take long.”

Just a different way of saying his opinion on the matter didn’t matter and he had to go with him anyway.

Shun had no choice but follow him into the office. For some reason he had the feeling that that man was a very uncomfortable person and he couldn’t say he was very fond of him. He might even say it was dislike at the first sight. He was kind of sleazy.

The coach sat down in his chair and picked up some papers, looking through them while Shun stood in front of him with his arms behind, his back, impatiently waiting for him to speak. It was like he was purposefully trying to irritate him. 

He wasn’t ready to play along with his stupid game and wait for him to finally put his stupid papers down, so he broke the ice and spoke up himself. 

“Sensei, if this is about trying t get me to join the baseball team, please don’t bother. My answer is and will stay the same.”

The coach chuckled. “I thought you’d say that.”

He put the papers down and turned his chair to face him. It squeaked loudly with the motion. It was a small school in the countryside and didn’t have a big budged. Therefore the equipment was often second hand and old and tattered.

“So there’s no way to make you change your mind?”

“There’s non. I decided to quit baseball in high school.” Shun said firmly. That guy and his team were pesky but what he hated was the way he spoke to him. It was so irritating. 

“And why might that be? I remember you being skilled enough to be offered a scholarship.”

Shuns eyebrows drew low and he had a bad feeling. That man shouldn’t know about that. Aside from his family only Shugo, who was the only one who ever found out, and that was because of nothing but family connections, no one had ever heard about him being offered a scholarship. There was no he should know about it.

“I just didn’t feel like it anymore.” Shun said coldly. It wasn’t any of his business.

The coach let out a hum. It send a pang of irritation through Shun. Like someone holding their fingers right next to your ear but without actually touching you so you technically had no excuse to slap it away.

“Oh really? Might it have more to do with having clandestine trysts with a certain friend of yours?”

Shun starred in disbelieve. “What?”

The coach pulled something out from the folder he had been looking through and put it on the table. 

It was a piece of paper, a photo to be precise. 

It was them. Still in the uniforms of Yokote for the last time of their lives, chests adored with the flower décor of the graduating third years and freshly acquired degrees still in hand, caught in exactly that moment that had taken less than a second, that was supposed to relieve him from his burden; to set him free, was now laid out in front of him ingrained on paper for everyone to see.

“I’ve done my research about you, Mizugaki-kun. This would cause quite a stir for you if it were to be made public.” he said in the same infuriating voice.

Sun starred at the picture in disbelieve as well as embarrassment, because someone had seen that; something no one was supposed to.

“How did you get that?!”

“Like I said, I’ve had my eyes on you for quite a while, Mizugaki-kun.”

What a fucking creep. Shun felt disgust rise up his throat.

“Now then, what was your answer about joining the team again?”

The way he said it made Shun want to punch him in the face. His jaw and fists clenched and he starred at the ugly man in cold fury and he was only doing it because he wanted him to join the team. “This is blackmail, Sensei. And it’s illegal.”

The coach laughed and it only threw oil into the fire. It made Shun want to punch him even more, if that was possible. “So you’d rather risk people finding out about yours and Kadowakis relationship?”

He didn’t want to hear Shugos name out of that scumbags mouth. He didn’t want him to be involved with him in any way or even talk to him.

“Though, there is no relationship, is there? Well, not that that is my problem, all I need is you to do is to perform well.”

He was the last person he needed to mock him. That sorry excuse for a teacher that was blackmailing a student instead of doing his work.

The coach saw his silence as a sign of defeat and continued. “Now then let’s get back to business. You will join the team and perform well. If you purposefully mess up or sabotage the team the picture will be leaked-”

So much to what his plan of getting himself thrown off the team at the first chance. 

“-You will do as what I want you to. I don’t care what you do, the point is to win. They’re quite the inexperienced bunch. I’ll be relying on your guidance to train them. So, what do you say? I’m looking forward so working with you.”

That that bastard even had the audacity to pretend he was giving him a choice in the matter after he told him he was planning to let Shun do his job.

Shun gritted his teeth so hard it felt like they were going to shatter.  
“Fine, but; Sensei-” Shun snatched the picture from the table. “If you touch me or any of the other students I will throw everything away and get you fired and arrested!” he ripped the picture in half. “I’m not doing this out of my free will and I won’t hesitate to show that- if you make a dumb decision that puts the team at risk I will tell you that it’s a dumb decision. I’m not some puppet: I’m a student you’re blackmailing and nothing else!”

Shun put the two pieces together and ripped them in halves again before he threw them to the floor.

The coach just smiled his annoying, disgusting smile. “Do as you wish as long as you get the results I want. But if you want to tell anyone you better be careful. You never know who’s listening to those phone conversations of yours. It‘s easier then you think.” 

“Is that a threat?” Shun hissed over his shoulder.

The man just smiled. “It’s a warning, Mizugaki-kun. Wouldn’t want anything unfortunate to happen to you now, would I.”

Shun sneered and slammed the door behind him.

Honestly, the possibility of getting outed as gay didn’t bother him so much. Sure there was going to be some bullying but in such a small school they’d get used to it eventually. And even if not, he only had one and a half more years to go through.  
Shugo on the other hand… he went to a big, prestigious school in Tokyo with a huge, competitive baseball team. He’d be in trouble, could get thrown off the team or even lose his scholarship. He’d be divested and it would be all his fault. He had been so stupid…  
Of course Shugo could just save face by shifting all the blame on him and saying it was Shun, a gross faggot, who kissed him first and without asking. But unfortunately, (or fortunately, maybe, depending on how you look at it,) Shugo wasn’t that kind of person. He loved him in his own way. He would never do something like that, he was so naïve, so honest.

He used to love baseball and still loved it but being forced to play it and then for such a scumbag was something different. 

But it couldn’t be that bad. He’d only have to endure it for some time in high school. One and a around a half year only. He could bear with it, right? But only passively sitting there and letting that happen to him didn’t sit right with him either but what choice did he have? 

But again, it was only making practice schedules, training drills and supervising and stuff, right?

It couldn't be that bad

...Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took ages to tipe out...
> 
> the next chapter will be longer and should be up in the next three or four weeks.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this i've had had the idea for ages and finally got around to writing it^^


	3. Asking Harada

He was wrong.

It was way worse than he had expected.

Maybe he could do some shit and get himself expelled... There were plenty of other schools without a team. 

It was a mess. They were inexperience, most of them hardly ever having been on the field, if at all, some didn’t even know the rules. 

Shun wasn’t surprised the coach had wanted him to help so badly. He knew nothing about baseball or coaching or children, much less how to deal with teenagers. He kept underestimating them and acted as if they were stupid and couldn’t think for themselves. Clearly he had no idea how smart children could be.  
Shun had experienced it himself while helping his little sister out with a few babysitting jobs when they were younger. There was no need to talk down to them and their simple logic and remarks were fun to listen to. Though some of the things they said were strangely philosophical and sometimes horrifying.

Kids were way more independent than most adults and teachers made them out to be. They could take care of and think for themselves just fine, which was something that could surprise even experienced teachers.

The team had done their best to do independent practice since it was apparent the coach only gave minimal instructions; they knew but were too afraid to point it out. Shun was appalled when he saw how little stretching they were doing before starting their practice drills.

They had received a lecture from him while the coach smiled dumbly as he watched Shun do his work.

They were mostly running around like a troop of headless chickens doing their best to do, well, something. 

They had no catcher and even worse, no pitcher and not even assigned positions. Shun had to check them out one by one to see what would suit them best, what they wanted and how well which of them worked well together. He didn’t do it in an obvious manner; he didn’t need to, just watching them was enough.

There was one first year, the small one with the curly hair, who was adamant on becoming a pitcher even thought he had no pitching experience. He was pretty excited about it so the kid was the best pick, or rather, the first, since he wouldn’t shut up about it.

Shun could teach him the basics but he still had to find someone to teach him so he could teach the first year properly, or even better someone who could teach him directly without drawing any suspicion. 

He didn’t trust the coach to do it. The probability that he’d end up teaching him some nonsense and injure the kid was way too high. Those things happened incredibly fast. He didn’t want him to end up crippled for life because of some shitty coach.

Shun had the feeling that that was exactly what the coach wanted him to think and do.

He wanted to tell Shugo, warn him that he had to be careful or tell anyone for that matter but that bastard had given him a clear warning that, if he did, he’d never know who’d listen. Even if he tried meeting up with him he’d only risk the same problems and he’d have to call him either way since Shugo lived in the dorms of his school miles away. A public phone wasn’t an option either. What if he followed him? 

He had no idea what of that guy said was the truth or not. That he actually bugged his phone was unlikely, but that was the problem; Shun didn‘t know. He’d had to have gotten close to him to bug his phone, maybe even get involved with family to get the information about him without his knowledge. 

Shun wouldn’t put it behind him. After all, he had been watching him for quite a while. Shun didn’t know how much detail he was referring to but it was creepy as hell.

He let his eyes wander over the field.  
He still had to find a catcher but he doubted it would be that hard since the positions hadn’t been assigned yet. A few had potential in fielding and of course there were the ones that just wanted to hold the bat and nothing else, clearly not having understood what baseball was all about. Seriously just what kind of team was this? 

If he couldn’t find one willing he’d just play catcher himself. Though, he’d much rather not. He loved being out on the field. Plus, hiding his face behind a mask would be a shame. 

Everything the coach said could be just a bluff to make him paranoid but it was too much of a risk, less for himself and more for Shugo. He’d be the one in trouble. There was no way he’d show the coach the he worried more about Shugos wellbeing than his own or let him abuse him as his weak spot. 

The mere fact that he used someone he loved, and someone who loved him, to force him to do something that used to bring him happiness against his will was disgusting.

The two first years, the ones that had been pestering him the entire time, were delighted when he joined. The captain and his vice captain were calmer, more rational about the whole thing but still excited just like the rest of the team.  
At least the two of them and another first one, tall, with broad shoulders and a buzz cut, had some experience with playing baseball. Meaning: they knew how to play, kind of.

He still had a lot to do to get them into shape.

There was also that one kid with short, curly hair and glasses who Shun had noticed stare at them when he was showing Mister Wannabe pitcher the basics.  
The kid hadn’t dared to approach them though and continued his fielding practice. With his shy personality he reminded him more of a manager but also of bit of Hagi. He had been one of the more excited members to hears of Shun joining their team. Almost like a fan girl.  
Shun had the feeling he was going to be reliable. Though, he could use a confidence boost he was going to be quite tenacious if honed right.

A good coach would have been able to spot that but no, not that guy.

He had planned to get away from baseball and now this. What a twist of fate…

Why the coach didn’t just hire an assistant coach, Shun didn’t know. He’s probably get fired in no time and replaced by said assistant once everyone realized how much he sucked. Having a student, who couldn’t snatch his position was also a way to keep his job Maybe he could get the team to complain about him…

Shun had the urge to sigh. Whatever he tried the risk of it being tracked back to him was always looming over his shoulder. His hands were tied. 

Marking that one guy as captain was literally the only good choice that coach had made. Shun had chosen him as well, since he had no interest in becoming captain himself. That kind of spotlight was not his kind of stage and he was completely content with that. Being in the background had always been more his thing. 

Shun sighed. He should stop standing around and get to work.

…………

He had to keep it secret from her and make up excuses as for why he was coming home late on specific days to his mother. There was no way she would allow him to join the team if she knew about it. Understandable, since he had turned down his scholarship and therefore made his parents pay for his school even though they could have avoided it.

He knew it had been selfish. But he couldn’t and hadn’t wanted to be considerate in his situation. He had done it only for himself. 

It had been his first and only selfish request. How could a mother possibly turn that down?

First he wouldn’t accept an opportunity to get into almost every school he wanted for basically free because he didn’t want to continue playing baseball in high school just to change his mind one year later. Of course she wouldn’t be on board with that. Even his mother had to put her foot down in a situation like that.

Part of him wished she would find out and yell at the coach for it. For something trivial, like not checking her signature for the application sheep which Shun had faked or something else the coach had technically no control over. It would be funny.

He came up with excuses(lies) when he came home late after practice and when he was helping individuals with their performance. Most of the time he used staying late for study sessions in the library or hanging out with friends, (even though they had been seeing less and less of him lately and were getting kind of grumpy about it) which seemed to satisfy his mother enough.

She was always happy about her son studying more seriously even though he was already pretty diligent.

Checking out the parks and other areas where he knew kids liked to play baseball at, he didn’t intend to but his feet moved with his thoughts as to who he could ask for help with the pitching practice.

At best it should be someone who didn’t know him too well and therefore wouldn’t think of it as odd.

Hagi, Enomoto or coach Ato weren’t an option.  
The two pitchers would be puzzled, not to mention that Enomoto was far away going in a big shot school and was definitely busy. Coach Ato would ask why Shuns coach couldn’t just teach him himself. Maybe he could just tell him he didn’t have a coach… though he had always had trouble lying to him since he got angry so quickly, which made it hard to come up with excuses. 

He was definitely going to drag the curly haired first year to someone who could teach him while practicing himself. That way Shun could just take over in case he crumbled during a match.

Someone who didn’t know him at all would be the best. Though he pitchers he and Shugo played with in grade school were an option too. He just had to get their contact info. In this day and age that wouldn’t be too hard.

Or he could ask Harada…

Shun snorted at the thought. No, he was a terrible teacher. He didn’t need to check to be able to tell that. 

He was one of those prodigies who’s bodies did everything so naturally they themselves didn’t even know how to put it into words. Just like Shugo.  
They could only describe it by making weird sounds and gestures. It was a language only other prodigies understood. Standing with nearby when such a conversation was going on could be kind of awkward. He knew from experience.

Shun passed a field where a few kids were playing. It wasn’t just a gathering of friends, clearly visible by their uniforms.  
He had seen the dark blue and orange uniforms of one team before. The name was on the tip of his tongue… Nitta Stars, that was it! The little league. 

His own team had played against them a few times when he was in grade school. 

He missed playing baseball.  
As in: the old days where everything was still easier. In all his life baseball had been the only thing that never changed. Just swinging the bat was fun and he wouldn’t have minded joining for a small match between friends. Just for old times sake. It didn’t fill him with appall or anything. 

Had he not been forced to play it he might have grown to enjoy it again. Because there was nothing else to it. It was just baseball. But it wasn’t the same anymore. The circumstances’ weren’t. He didn’t want to hate it and didn’t care about it at all at the same time. 

But still, standing on the field filled him with excitement like it used to. Because it was fun. It made him forget about the circumstances for a moment. Wasn’t that enough?

Shun didn’t know how to feel.

He barely got to play himself since he was so occupied with constantly keeping an eye on the others. Having the coaches eyes loom over him the entire time didn’t help him feel relaxed either. He wanted to play somewhere else. Away from the school environment.

He wanted to have his first match with them on a different schools grounds.

No matter what idea he had it would immediately get shut down with a what if, counting all the reason of how it could get him into even more trouble. 

In the first place, what was he supposed to do? 

Tell his parent? 

Then what?

They’d complain to the school, the coach would find out and leak the picture. Or the school would tell him to shove it and cover the whole thing up without ever contacting the authorities. There wasn’t even a guarantee they’d fire that bastard.

What was he supposed to do?  
Wait for an opportunity, do everything he could at the moment, perform well, get the team to perform well. For that he needed a pitcher. And now he was at the beginning again.

He doubted he could get the team ready in time for the district tournament. They wouldn’t be able to go through it with only fastballs, not to mention that they barely know each other and therefore didn’t know how to get along yet, much less how to work as a team.

If he was honest Shun doubted he’d be able to master a breaking ball or a sinker any time soon. Actually he was certain he wouldn’t.

Deep in thoughts, he didn’t even notice the match had ended until the field was empty. He just kept staring at it for a while longer.

The mound reminded him of a stage.

He pulled himself over the short, waist high fence and walked across the field. He stepped onto the mound and turned to face the batter box, imagining what it would look like if batter and catcher filled out their positions. 

It was a lonely place, in his eyes.

He had been there a few times and on various occasions but right now it felt like it was his first time standing on the mound.  
He had the urge to do a windup because, come on, he couldn’t just step onto the mound without doing one. It felt like a magic ritual. Shun sighed. He couldn’t see the appeal in it. He was going to do it anyway, though. 

He was about to get into position when suddenly,  
“Hello.” a high pitched voice greeted him and it made him jump almost a foot into the air (which he was going to deny if anyone asked).

He spun around but couldn’t see anything, much to his own confusion.

That was until he looked down.

There was Haradas little brother. Standing in front of him, still in his uniform and with one hand wrapped around the strap of a bag, that was almost as big as himself, hanging from his shoulder. 

He almost didn’t recognize him

“Uh…hello” Shun said a bit taken aback.

“Did you like the game?”

Shun blinked confused. “Uh…”

“I saw you watching.” Haradas little brother said, not in an accusing way and more like he wanted to inform him.

“Ah, yeah. I liked it.”

Haradas little brother looked at him with clear, unblinking eyes. It made Shun feel a little uncomfortable. Like he was being looked right through. And for the love of it he just couldn’t remember his name. 

“You’ve gotten pretty good.” Shun said with a smile.

The little boys face lit up and he smiled in a way that could melt every parents heart. 

“Thank you! I‘ve been practicing a lot! Uh… I’m sorry but I can’t remember your name…” he said apologetically. 

Shun laughed, “It’s alright. Actually, you’re at a good timing because I can’t remember your either.”  
“Oh…”

They shared a laugh before properly introducing themselves. 

“I’m Mizugaki.” Shun said and held out his hand.

“And my name is Seiha” Seiha said. 

Unsurprisingly, he had one hell of a grip. 

“Don’t you have to go back to your teammates, Seiha-kun?”

Seiha shook his head. “I can just go home, since I live so close. Do you want to stay for dinner?”

Shun laughed. “No, thank you. I’m good.”

“Did you eat already?

“Yeah.”

Really, who just invited a near stranger to stay for dinner? That kid was seriously adorable. Though, he shouldn’t make it a habit. Shun doubted he would. If it had been anyone else he would have said something but Seiha seemed rather sharp for his age. 

Now that he thought about it he was actually really hungry. He hadn’t had had anything since lunch at school. He had no interest in seeing Harada again though, much less have lunch with him.

“You’ve grown quite a bit since last time. I almost didn’t recognize you.” Shun said.

Seihas face, that had returned to normal, lit up again and Shun had the urge to shield his eyes. 

“Really? I’ve been eating three square meals each day!”

Shun had to smile as Seiha bragged to him (and wished he would stop mentioning food).

The contrast between the Harada siblings was quite hilarious. First there was the dark, brooding princess and then there was the physical manifestation of sunlight and optimism Seiha.

Shun wondered how he would react if he knew that he had wished for less than savory things to happen to his big brother more than once. Though, he knew he wasn’t the only one.

He didn’t want to think about Harada. He had done enough of that in the past years.

“Shouldn’t you be getting home? I bet your mom will worry.” Shun said.

Seiha shook his head. “It’s alright. She’s been worrying less lately.”

Shun raised an eyebrow. He had literally no idea what that meant but okay.

Seiha starred at him with his clear child eyes once more, then he asked, “Are you alright? You look kind of sad.”

“I’m fine.” Shun lied.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he avoided eye contact. He didn’t like being read like that. 

Was it really that obvious that something was going on? If even a child could tell he needed to hide it better. Though it wasn’t that much of a crisis. Just because they noticed didn’t mean he was going to tell them.  
He’d continue pretending. He was used to it, after all.

Seiha looked skeptical, pursing his lips and getting a crease between his brows that didn’t suit him at all.

Shun wanted to pull a grimace. Lying to him was hard. He felt kind of bad for it. Though a kid would hardly understand if he tried explaining it to him and couldn’t help him.

Lying was easier.

But he could help him in a different way. 

He kneeled down to be on eye level with Seiha, who looked at him curiously and asked, “Actually, can I ask you for a favor?”

“Sure! What is it?”

“Would you teach me how to pitch like that?”

“You want me to teach you how to pitch?”

Shun nodded.

“Sure. I can do that.”

“Really? Thank you!” 

That kids smile really was contagious. Had he been talking to anyone older he’d have expected a “But” at the end of that sentence.

Seiha took his hand. “Come, I’ll teach you.” He seemed overly excieted about it. 

“Right now?” Shun asked.

“Is that bad?” 

“I didn’t bring my mitt…”

He knew that if he had brought it with him he would certainly been dragged into participating a match sooner or later. 

“That’s alright. You can do it without.”

I guess…”

Yeah, if he was only practicing his pitches without a catcher he didn’t really need it. Seiha let him borrow a ball, which he proudly told him was gift from Nagakura. “It always feels warm in my hands.” he said happily. 

Shun looked at the ball, threw it into the air and caught it again a few times.

“Warm, huh…” 

He knew what he was talking about. Almost like the ball was alive, though pitchers probably felt that sensation way stronger.  
But throwing it back to base, that feeling when the other mans mitt suddenly became bigger just before the ball left his fingertips and that satisfying “Clap!” when it hit the mark. It was a feeling that could only be sensed in the heat of the moment.  
One of those that disappear when you concentrate too much on it makes you loose focus and mess up. Just like when you think too much about an instinctive reaction, think about how you walk while walking and fall.

It was catch the ball, change directions, aim and throw, all in one moment. 

Shun could feel the strain in his pitching arm after a while. It was definitely a different kind of pain than the one he was used to.

“Raise your leg higher.” Seiha instructed.

He had taken a spot beside him and let him follow his example while keeping a watchful eye on him. 

As he had expected the younger of the Harada brothers was good at instructing. He was pretty strict but had a way to make it fun with his optimistic nature.  
If he had to describe it, he’d say it was like he had a spring in his voice. Like an auditory version of skipping while walking.

He was being very clear, told him tricks and corrected his position without getting agitated even if he made the same mistake several times. He had the patience of an angel.

Part of Shun wished he had been their coach instead of Ato. They would’ve never gotten yelled at! Well, maybe a few times but then they’d know they definitely deserved it. 

“Hm, it would be easier if we had a catcher.” Seiha said, after getting the ball for what felt like the hundreds time.

“Maybe we should throw rocks instead.” Shun thought out aloud.

“It would be even harder to pick all of them up from the field later.” Seiha said.

Just leaving them would be a dick move.

“That’s true. More balls would be the best…” 

“I can ask Gou-chan to catch for us next time.” 

Shun rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s kind of embarrassing to ask someone who’s been catching Haradas pitches for years to see mine in comparison.”

“Gou-chan won’t judge.” Seiha assured him.

‘Please just accept it. Coming up with excuses to you is pretty hard…!’ Shun though.

“I’d still rather not.”

Nagakura was also impatient in his very own way (most of that involved Harada) and he would wonder about Shun suddenly taking up pitching and asking Seiha instead of a proper instructor. Though he hadn’t seen him for a year he still didn’t want to ask him for help. Not to mention Harada would learn about it through him.

Seiha nodded understanding. “That’s okay. We’ll just bring more balls next time.”

“We can just throw them against a wall too. It’d be easier to pick them up.”

“Good idea!”

“Ah, but lets continue next time. It’s getting late.” Shun said, looking at the sky that began turning pink. Any longer and he was going to pass out like an old lady from hunger.

“I didn’t notice at all. Mom might be worried now!” 

“Sorry about that.” Shun apologized.

“It’s okay. I’ll be home in time for dinner. You sure you don‘t want to come along?” Seiha asked again.

Shun laughed. “It’s fine. My mom is about to have dinner ready soon as well. And thank you again for teaching me. You’re seriously a great help.” Shun said with a small bow.

“You’re welcome. It was fun for me too. Do you want to meet up here at the same time tomorrow too?” Seiha asked.

Shun nodded. “Sure, if that’s fine with you and thanks again.”

They parted ways and waved at each other from the distance.

“And don’t forget your mitt!” Seiha called before hurrying home.

He rolled his shoulder. He was definitely going to feel that tomorrow. He waited until Seiha was out of sight and lit himself a cigarette before staring his way home. 

Unpacking his old baseball stuff was going to feel weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took way longer than planned especially thanks to my computer being as slow as a sloth with athrites.
> 
> (also, i have no idea about baseball so please ignore any of those mistakes or correct me if possible. thank you~)
> 
> Quick questin for you all:
> 
> Would you preffer it if i gave Shuns team mates names?
> 
> They're going to be of some importance later so it would be and easier read for you guys. please give me your opinion it's really importand! If you guys'd preffer it I will edit this chapter with their names. 
> 
> i personally don't like putting OCs in fanfiction and i think it's generally frowned upon, but for this one it's just necesarry thanks to the lack of characters in battery. (writing AUs for this would be so much easier if they had just adapted the manga...)
> 
> as always if you find any mistakes feel free to tell me and thank you for reading~


	4. A day of work

.quick note at the beginning: since a very kind reader gave me their opinion whether I should give the team mates names or not I’m going to call them by their names from now on so I’ll just quickly tell you what they are in case I don’t get around to editing them into the second chapter.

The curly haired first year= Hashimoto

The captain= Hiraga

The vice captain= Sato

The first year with the glasses= Ishiki

The big burly dude with the buzz cut= Katai

The first year who was with Hashimoto at the beginning= Sagawa (possibly won’t appear again though)  
That would be all. More might be added if the need arises.

 

The team diligently did their practice drills while Shun taught Hiraga what he needed to know for pitching. Practicing with Seiha helped him a lot with getting the hang of it.

The kid was good with words and his instructions were easy to understand- some of them Shun could just repeat word for word since it turned out Hashimoto wasn’t the brightest bulb in the room. The captain, Hiraga, had taught him a little before Shun was forced to join, which he was grateful for.

Quickly, most of them had realized asking Shun for advice earned higher results than going to the coach (and was just a little less scary) and rarely approached him anymore. Shun couldn’t count how many times he already had to send them to the coach after being asked about something he had nothing to do with or clearly lacked the authority to do anything for it. They were always hesitant to go to the coach even if it was just a request to excuse themselves to the bathroom- yes he had been asked that several times as well- that guy was doing some serious damage.

Of course he had hired an advisor who was so old he could barely hear what was going on around him. There was no help to be expected from the old man. Shun wasn’t sure if he could even see.

But for some reason the team loved him like an old, adorable grandpa and happily carried his bags and helped him walk, so Shun let it slide.  
He was giving off a somewhat comforting aura and helped the moral of the team. Admittedly, he was getting kind of fond of him as well.

Having a grown up who was actually attentive constantly look over his shoulder would only make hiding his work even harder.

He’d have to pretend the coach was actually doing something as not to get caught and keep a low profile all while getting the team into shape. If a good advisor noticed what was going on They’d confront the coach and Shun would end up getting blamed for it.

He was just trying to see the positive side again, avoiding the possibility of help out of fear of taking a risk.  
He couldn’t rely on anyone. If something was going to be done he had to do it himself. He wanted to do something so badly, but what?

Shun spotted the small first year with the glasses, Ishiki, if he remembered correctly, he didn’t talk a lot, watching them while he was playing catch as warm up. He was continuously throwing quick glances at them before looking away again nervously. He was too shy to approach him, clearly not considering that just walking over to them and asking if he could try too was an option.

“Do you want to try pitching?” Shun asked the bespectacled boy after practice.

“I-I don’t think I can…” he said, avoiding eye contact.

It sounded like fun but standing on the mount all alone with everyone’s eyes one him, he couldn’t do it. But he really wanted to…

“Hey, I won’t force you but just try it out. We’re going to town for some extra lessons today, fell free to tag along.”

“No, I…” Ishiki stuttered.

He always kept his eyes on the ground. The biggest problem he had was probably the fear of other peoples opinions and messing up in front of them: stage fright.

Getting him into a different environment, one that had Seiha in it, and fewer people would probably help ease his anxiety

Seiha had the ability to make everyone around him feel at ease so it would do the trick, even for someone as nervous as his bespectacled friend. Once that hurdle was breached and he had grown more comfortable with it he could work on his confidence.

He was already in high school, Ishiki thought. Forcing himself to do things he usually wouldn’t had been his goal for it. That’s why he joined the baseball team, something he had always wanted to do but had been too shy for. But he had already said no and felt scared to just say he change his mind, even though Shun had willfully accepted that decision

“Well, give it a chance if you feel like it.” Shun said, leaving Ishiki to his own devices and frustration.

Even though he hadn’t verbally agreed Shun was confident he had already made up his mind. Now he only had to wait for him to gather himself and actually get it out of his mouth.

….

Before leaving, he grabbed Hashimoto on his way out and dragged him along.

He know knew enough to introduce him to Seiha. It would shave quite some work off his schedule. Seiha could teach him right away and Shun could keep an eye on him while he refined his skills.

Hashimoto was giddy and excited once Shun told him what they were going to do and could barely hold still while they waited on the field he and Seiha had claimed as their training grounds. Had he been sitting on a chair he would have certainly fallen off, or broken the chair. Whichever came first.

It didn’t take long for the small boy to arrive. “Shunji-kun!” he called out and trotted over to them, eying the first year with curiosity.

Shun introduced him. “This is Seiha. He’s gonna teach you, better than I can.”

The first year raised an eyebrow. “A kid?”

“He’s pretty good. Way better thank you.”

“Hey!”

“That’s my teams wannabe pitcher, Hashimoto. As you can see, he’s pretty inexperienced, so I’d like him to watch us practice, would that be okay?”

“What? I can only watch?”

“Don’t interrupt your senpai.”

Hashimoto pouted.

  
“Sure.” Seiha said, smiling at the first year and giving him a short nod as a greeting.

They went to work while the other boy sat down on a bench, wondering why Shun had told him to bring his mitt if he wasn’t going to practice anyway. But soon enough, his grumpy attitude turned into attentive curiosity and he watched them trying to learn as much as he could, just like Shun had told him.  
He would have done it even without the instructions but he wanted to meet Shuns expectations since he always seemed so professional, especially after what they had been used to working with the coach.

Shun could feel Hashimoto’s eyes on him though the sensation dulled when he began concentrating and his body focused completely on the task at hand.

The captain hadn’t offered him his position even though he still appeared uncertain with the newly earned responsibility and respect he would have received had they had a normal coach.

Shun had no interest in it anyway.

The fact that he hadn’t stepped down for a more experienced individual showed how proud Hiraga was of his position. And that he wasn’t ready to hand it over without a fight, even if it would have been “better” for the team. Shun liked that.

He wondered what Hiraga would do if he told him to step down. He clearly had a problem with listening to authorities, or rather, not listening to them.

He had no intention of growing close to the team but maybe it was unavoidable. He didn’t mind it but he was just an outside figure and planned to let it stay that way. He was there to do his job and was ready to get out of dodge with the first opportunity. He had no idea when that was but he hoped it would be soon.

Outside of practice he avoided spending time with them. They were good guys, just happened to get him into a shitty situation. He just did it to show the coach that he was only doing it because he was being forced to, not because he enjoyed it. Being able to look at him with that ugly face and say, “Told you so, you’re enjoying it after all.”

He wasn’t going to get treated like a child that could just be walked over, like some kind of puppet always at that bastards disposal, debating with himself that he liked it after all and trying to for excuses for how it wasn’t “that bad” and how “things could be worse”. Like hell he’d give him that satisfaction and become a mute.

“Shunji-kun, are you alright?” Seiha suddenly asked.

“Yeah, why?” Shun checked his position. Had he been doing something about his form wrong?

“You look kind of sad.”

Sad? That wasn’t how he would describe his state of mind. Angry would be more accurate. Furious, irritated, annoyed and anything along that line. Not, that wasn’t quite right either… whatever, he didn’t really care about giving himself a psychological analysis.

“I’m not sad. I’m fine.” he reassured him.

Seiha looked at him skeptically. “Really?”

That made Shun smile. He really was a good kid for worrying about him.

“Yeah, really.”

It was hard to believe he and Mister Grumpy-Pants-Always-Serious Harada were related.

“You think we let him watch long enough?” Shun asked in a hushed voice, peeking over to Hashimoto who was still sitting on the bench, starring at them and giving off the “I want to pitch” aura only pitchers could.

Well, obviously, a catcher could hardly do the same.

If Shun looked close enough he could also see him mumbling those words. His tenacious aura was kind of terrifying.

Seiha glanced at him and nodded. “I think he’s ready now.”  
Sun smirked and waved him over.

Meaning, Hashimoto jumped up and was in front of them in less than two seconds.

“I hope you were paying close attention. It’s your turn now.”

The curly haired first year jumped up and down, giddy with excitement to finally be able to pitch himself. Seiha gave him a few more instructions before he turned to Shun.

“Can play catcher?”

“Uh, I don’t know…”

He had his doubts about where the ball was going to go with someone who barely ever pitched in his life but Seiha looked at him with those big, brown eyes like a puppy.

Shun sighed, “Fine. I’ll do it.”

“Yay, thank you!”

Shun wondered if Seiha knew he could get away with literally everything like that.

“If you hit me I punch you!” Shun shouted before getting into position.

Seiha made Hashimoto throw a few empty pitches before he threw the first one. It veered up to the right and Shun had to jump up to catch it. The next one went to the right as well but was too low.

“Throw into the strike zone!” Shun shouted as he threw the ball back.

Hashimotos eyebrows drew low in a concentrated throw and his tongue peaked out of the corner of his lips. Then he threw.

The balls came straight at him with noticeable speed but was a little too high. Shun prepared to catch it when it suddenly dropped, bounced off the ground and hit him right in the face.

A numbing pain spread over he cheek bone before he could react and he pressed his hand against it with a grown.

“Are you alright?” Seiha shouted, jogging over to him with Hashimoto, who was apologizing profusely, in tow.

“It’s fine.”

Shun stood up and punched the first year in the arm, the left not the right, so he’d finally stop apologizing while continuously bowing down.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s bound to happen in baseball sometimes.”

“But-”

“No buts.”

“Do you need some ice to cool your cheek?” Seiha asked.

Shun laughed. “Not because of such a meek throw!” He prodded the red skin and a wave of pain shot through him. “This is barely going to leave a bruise!”

It was definitely going to leave a bruise.

Good thing the pitch hadn’t been very powerful. He didn’t want to end up with a broken jaw in the first months of his second year.

“Well, I’m still a beginner. I’ll do it better next time!” Hashimoto defended himself.

“Oh? Sounds like you really want me to double your training then. Hit me again and you can stay after practice for extra leaps. I’ll gladly comply~” Shun said with a devilishly, friendly smirk.

He gave the first year another punch on the shoulder, softer this time, more like a friendly nudge (one expected from a professional volleyball player).

Hashimoto chuckled apologetically and rubbed his arm while also looking horrified at the promise Shun had just made.

Shun had a lot of strength for a guy his size, mostly because said size had taught him not to hold back, which gave him an unexpected advantage over taller opponents since it made him appear more aggressive and intimidating.  
Good thing Hashimotos didn’t point that out or it would have earned him another punch.

Shun threw him the ball. “Let’s get back to work!”

“Are you sure you don’t wan tot rest for a bit?” Seiha asked concerned and the first year nodded in agreement.

“there’d be no use to practice if we drop it after two pitches. Get in position, we don’t have all day!”

……….

They practiced for quite a while until Shun noticed the fatigue was getting to Seiha and he put an end to it. Hashimoto looked like he was about to drop as well but he could take it.

They bid Seiha goodbye and Shun made sure the curly haired first year bowed down and gave the little boy a heart filled thank you before they parted.

“Hey, Mizugaki-san, how do you know that kid?” Hashimoto asked as they made their way to the train station. Shun was going to walk him half-way since his house was in the direction, anyway.

“He’s the little brother of a pitcher my team once went up against. Shugo and I played a match with a few of their team just for fun before the match and he tagged along to pitch for us.” Shun explained.

“Shugo- do you mean Kadowaki Shugo?!”

“Yeah.”

Hashimotos face lit up with amazement. “You know him?!”

Great. Stuck with another fan boy.  
Though he was fine with both, he preferred the attention of the fan girls. Seeing them fawn over Shugo when he treated them like he would anyone else was hilarious, and also kind of empowering how Shugo didn’t get their clues at all, and Shun could just toy with him however he wanted. He was such a socially oblivious person.  
He realized that sounded messed up but it only meant he was proud of being able to get an honest reaction out of him. Well, at least that was how he had thought until Harada showed up…  
Shun shook the thought off. He didn’t want to think about those kind of things. Not now, not ever.

“Of course I do. We were on the same team!”

“That’s so cool! I want to meet him someday.” Hashimoto said

‘I’d rather not.’ Shun thought instinctively.

Or maybe…

He shook the thought off. It was better not to contact him after all. He didn’t want that coach anywhere near Shugo..

“You have to win the district tournament first.” Shun reminded him.

“I’ll win it then! I’ll make us win the district tournament and get us to the nationals!”

“Aren’t you an optimist.”  
Or overconfident. Again Shun felt like he had been exposed to pure sunlight for a long time.

“Learn not to hit your catcher in the face first.”

“I will, I promise!”

Shun chuckled and wrapped an arm around Hashimotos shoulders. “That’s the spirit! Though your aim sucks and your posture is terrible and your talent for re-batting is lacking to say the least.”

Hashimoto chuckled nervously as he was reminded he still had a lot of work to do.

“I’ll be getting better.” He said and Shun let go of him again.

“And, Mizugaki-san?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks for helping me out so much. You’re a great help.”

Shun grinned. “You’re my pitcher and I’m your shortstop- I’ll be the one to know your condition best.”

The first year looked flattered but a bit confused, “I though it was the catcher who’s closest to the pitcher.”

“Maybe he’ll be seeing you from the front but the ones who’ve got your back it us. Don‘t forget that.”

A single player couldn’t carry an entire team. That was not the point of the sport. Teams where everyone tried their hardest and worked together like a well oiled machine were the most fun to be a part of.

“Hey, Mizugaki-san?”

“Hm?”

“The nationals… you went there, didn’t you? What’s it like?”

“You’ll find out once you’re there yourself.”

Shun accompanied him until they reached the half way point where they had to part ways and bid each other a good evening. Of course not without Shun reminding Hashimoto to do his homework. He didn’t want to train a new pitcher just because the old one was too stupid to keep his grades up and got thrown out of the team.

Shun stretched and began his walk home.

The street lights came on, illuminating the darkening roads. He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his coat and lit one up. It was time to put it away for the next winter and replace it with a thinner jacket. A long sleeved shirt would do, too.

He had only started smoking because he noticed it helped him relieve the stress with Shugo and just never stopped even after they parted in high school. It had become a habit. He still smoked quite a lot but not as much as before. It felt like it had become less frantic. It had been a good distraction from having to talk to Shugo. That way he could concentrate on something else, like a barrier that helped him think and sort out his thoughts before he opened his mouth.  
It had made it easier and made him feel more relaxed. Whenever he began to feel uncomfortable around him he had lit himself a cigarette.

The walk was long enough for the smell to leave his clothes before he reached home.

The lights in the living room were still on. Probably from his grandma watching her soap operas even though it was already bed time for her.

He pulled the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door.

“Onii-san, you’re pretty late. We already had dinner.” his sister, Kana, noted.

She was just going from the living room to the kitchen with a few dirty dishes in her hands as he took of his shoes.

“I was hanging out at the arcade and forgot the time.” Shun said dismissively while putting his coat on the coat hanger.

“You’re going to end up poor that way.” Kana chastised.

“Yeah, yeah.”

She was about to continue on her way when she suddenly stopped mid-step.

“What happened to your face? You need to stop getting into fights!”

“I never get into fights! I got hit by a stray ball in GYM class.”

She didn’t quite look like she believed him. He used to get into scuffles when he was a kid all the time. Mostly with someone bullying his sister. She had a strong sense of justice and was the type of person who confronted people when they acted like pricks, even when they were twice her size.

 

If there was trouble it was usually the both of them who were involved. Shun only stepped in when things got physical. Which had happened rather often.

Shun could proudly say that he had never lost any of those confrontations, even when he was way smaller than his opponent. They ended with them getting pulled apart by the teachers or other students most of the time.  
It scared them that he wasn’t afraid to punch and get punched and after one kid had his him in the temple with a rock and instead of backing down Shun had just kicked him in the shin and proceeded to head-butt him which accidentally knocked the kid out he had earned respect.

Kana sighed, “I left a plate out for you. It should still be warm.” she said, not asking any further questions.

“Thanks.”

After getting some ice from the freezer and putting it in a plastic bag Shun sat down at the kitchen table and made to eat the leftovers. The inside of his mouth hadn’t burst open like last time so he could eat with minimal amount of pain.

When hungry even cold with and rice tasted -well, amazing would be exaggerating, so let’s say, edible- after such a long day.

He could hear his grandma watching TV in the living room. She had to go to bed soon or she’d have trouble sleeping again.

After finishing up, he put the dishes away and peaked into the living room.

“Grandma, you should go to bed. It’s almost nine!”

“Only ten more minutes, please!”

The old woman looked over her shoulder, a broad smile showing off her missing teeth.

“Ten but no longer.”

He knew those ten minutes would turn into twenty but he was too tired to bother. She’d be fine. It was hard to argue with her in the first place and a few minutes wouldn’t make a bit difference. His mom or sister would come down and get her in case it got too late, anyway.

He retreated back into the hallway and went into the bathroom for a quick shower.

The hot water felt like heaven on his sore muscles and the “short” shower ended up being a little bit longer than originally planned. Much to his grandmas delight because she used the time to sneak some sweets out of the cabinet, filled with old china and all kinds of trinkets that had collected over the years, next to the TV.

“Mother, you aren’t supposed to eat sweets after dinner!” Shuns mom chastised.

She had indeed joined to take her to bed.

“Oh, honey, let me have this for once.”

His mother grumbled. “Fine. Only this once, but let me have some, too!” She leaned over the table and snatched herself a few pieces as well.

His grandma chuckled. “Of course!”

Standing at the door, Shun said, “Aren’t you supposed to be out early the next morning?”

“Ahh, be quiet!” his mother said.

Shun strode over to the cabinet and opened it. “There’s almost nothing left! Mom, you’re spoiling her too much!”

He flopped down at the table and grabbed a piece of chocolate from the little pile his grandma had made. It was neatly stacked in a square formation.

“But you allowed me to take some.” his grandma said with a wide smile.

“Shunji, you know she isn’t supposed to!”

Shun glare at her.

Under the table she handed him another piece of chocolate. The type that was filled with sweet cream. Her favorite.

“Mom, you just allowed her to eat some, too.”

Shun beckoned his fingers without looking at his grandmother and she handed him one more.

“Because she already had taken them out!”

“Pcht, excuses. You just wanted to have some yourself!”

His mother huffed. “Woman need their chocolate.”

“You used to do the same too, Shunji. You always started crying when she didn’t allow you to have mayonnaise with your breakfast, even though you‘d usually get everything like that.”

Yeah, yeah, the good old times.

“Of course I wouldn’t allow it! Mayonnaise with your breakfast- that’s barbarically!”

“It’s delicious, mom!”

“It was good material to bribe you with, at least.” She chuckled, “But it was hard to stay stern when started crying and apologizing. I just wanted to hug him and squish his cheeks.”

She looked at him with a grin and raised her hands

Shun leaned away, “Please, don’t. That was ages ago.” The memory alone made his cheeks hurt. But being hugged and forgiven for doing something stupid instead of being yelled at was pretty nice.

Suddenly her expression turned into one of concern. “What happened to your face?!”

Shun gave her the same excuse he gave his sister.

“You don’t have GYM class today.” his grandmother said after his mother left to prepare her futon.

Shun froze. But she just plopped another candy into her mouth and grinned at him.

“I guess so…” Shun said and excused himself to do his homework.

What was that all about?

He shrugged internally. Not that it was his problem. Women were weird. Did she just want him to know that she ‘knew’ like his sister?  
Well, even if she told his mom it wasn’t like she’d be able to do anything.

Right, his uniform, he remembered.

He had to wash it… later.

After finishing his homework he crawled into bed and was out cold as soon as his head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was actually way longer but i ended up spitting it into two since it was good spot to stop and it was becoming way too long.
> 
> Apparently Shun has a younger sister in canon but i'm not sure about her name. it was either Nozomi or Kana but i read somewhere that it's Kana so i just stuck with that.
> 
> As always, have fun reading this chapter and prepare for Kaionji and his weird habits in the next one~


	5. Meeting a friend with useless news

Shun didn’t know what woke him up.

When he opened his eyes he starred at the familiar small cracks in the ceiling of his room, somehow having managed to twist his blanked so it was covering him sideways instead of his entire body like it was supposed to.

He grabbed his phone and squinted as the screen lit up. “What… it’s only 5pm…” he grumbled.

‘Was it the crows again?’ he wondered.

But there was a reason more likely than that and he wasn’t very fond of it. It was a habit. He sat up and had to stop himself from pulling the curtains back and looking outside.

He had to stop himself from pulling the curtains back and taking a look outside.

Even after a year it was still weird not to hear the familiar footsteps of Shugo jogging past his house every morning.

Lonely, almost.

Not that Shun would ever admit that.

It used to wake him up and bother him when he was younger. But then he decided not to let it get to him; and gotten used to it more openly.

It had still been annoying sometimes. Like he had some makeshift clock installed in him that made him wake up whenever Shugo approached. It happened even when he had an important exam that day.  
Sometimes Shun thought Shugo didn't understand rest. He was always bright awake when Shun was ready to go to sleep but still got up early every morning to go on a run.

Every. Freaking. Day.

If Shun had to do that he would die. Shugo tried to convince him a few times, unsuccessfully.

He had seen him sometimes, watched him run past his house from the window; when he felt like a smoke in the early morning hours before going to sleep again.

Shugo never saw him. Too occupied with the task at hand. He sure knew how to concentrate even if it was just something minor - as long as it was something physical. Academically, not so much.

Had he spotted him he'd have stopped and they'd had a chat through the window. Like some kind of Romeo and Juliet with the balcony.

It had become a habit to watch him whenever it woke him up. Had it concerned him enough to put real thought into it, he wouldn't be able to tell he had something against it.

It was more indifference; A form of familiarity he didn't think about.

How it had just stopped from one day to the other was strange even though he had had months to prepare for it.

Even now, it felt strange.

Shun didn't want to think about it or admit that he felt that way.

He sighed and sat up.

Another clatter came from the window.

Wait... another? So he had heard something after all!

He pulled the curtains back forcefully and shoved the window open in annoyance, glaring at the crows sitting on the walls that surrounded his house and garden.

"Be quiet already!" he hissed.

The crows starred at him. Small, black eyes gritting at him like pearls made of evil.

Shun ran his hand over his face. Now he was talking to birds. He had to be really tired.

Shun let himself fall backwards onto his futon again and closed his eyes.

"Clank, clank, clank…”

Shun gritted his teeth.

"Clank, clank…”

"Clank...clank, clack, clank…”

"Oh, for fucks..."

Shun sat up abruptly. The sound of the crows tapping their beaks against the trash cans was unmistakable.

Fine! Looked like he wasn't going to o back to sleep any time soon!

He grabbed the pack of cigarettes from the windowsill, pulled one out and lit it. Taking a long drag, he starred at the horizon. Pitch black mountains framed by a dark blue night sky that was just light enough stars were beginning to fade.

The cool air was fresh. Enjoyable and silent, like it could only be in the early morning hours. Making it appear as though he was the only person in the world.

Were it not for those damn crows he might actually be able to enjoy it.

Shun couldn't be more glad it was Sunday - the only time he could relax nowadays.

He wanted to take a bath, though, he had no doubt he'd fall asleep in the water if he did that now.

Taking a nap during the daytime sounded good, too.

Yeah, he was going to do that later.

Standing up, he walked over to his bookshelf and pulled a random book out. He glanced at it, then back at the shelf and his eyes stopped on a familiar, dark cover.

Shun pulled it from the shelf. It was heavy and thick. The cover read "Yearbook Yokoteni Junior High". The date of the year they had graduated in was written in smaller letters under it.

Shun put the other book under his arm and moved to open it but stopped mid-motion.

He shook his head, as if to shake off a thought. He had no reason to look at it. He had gotten over his reminiscent phase long ago.

But if he was over it, it only meant he could look through the old pictures without feeling anything.

Annoyed, Shun huffed.

He was going to look at it and feel nothing. The book opened on a random page near the middle. There were a few pictures of the culture festival during their first year.

The photography club had done an outstanding job capturing the atmosphere; class 1A had made a food stand and offered a "dish" called "lottery takoyaki", which were basically normal takoyaki with a little twist in form of a single one out of each portion being ridiculously spicy.

Whoever got the spicy one could return to the booth and get a normal portion for free. And for anyone wondering how they told the people who had actually eaten some from the ones who just wanted to get food for free, the ones who had some tended to end up with red, swollen lips.

Shun had been one of those people. Though he had to stick out his tongue to prove he ate them as well. He had always been good with spicy food.

Shugo, on the other hand, had almost started crying when Shun tricked him into eating the other one he had gotten for exactly that purpose.

It had been the only time Shugo hadn't been a regular. At least not during the first half of the year.

His chest had been swelling with pride and he could barely contain the excitement in his step; He kept grinning with a slight blush on his cheeks all day, like he was about to jump into the air out of happiness when he finally did.

To Shun it had been obvious.

Shugo was amazing so of course he would get a spot as a regular in no time.

He still praised him with a smile nonetheless, which had made Shugo even giddier. It had been so childish in a way he celebrated about it in a way only Shugo could.

Over all those years that had always been the same. Some things just never changed and the similarity between Shugo and his younger self was one of those.

Shun had heard he was having trouble earning his spot at his new school, though.

The place was filled with people like who were just as talented and tenacious as Shugo, somewhere where his level of skill was expected instead of special: the elite of the elite.

Of course he'd still stand out as a first year but he wasn't irreplaceable anymore; there would always be someone waiting in line to take his place.

It probably made him feel uncertain.

He always got anxious about these kind of things. How helpless he was sometimes made him feel annoyed but how he just kept trying was somewhat endearing. Like he though he was able to do it himself but ended up not being able to.

Shugo probably had no trouble getting used to high school life. He lived for that kind of excitement.

The stations were bigger, the opponents stronger and the cheers louder- he'd flourish in that kind of environment and grow even more amazing.

That aura of pure joy that stood so tall, like could not be rattled, that drew people in, the same way it send chills down Shuns spine - it was probably even more amazing now, in front of the stadium the nationals were held in.

How it had made Shun unable to look away- high on the knowledge that he knew that person batter than anyone and could get reactions out of him no one else could. Not even Harada.

Only seeing a picture of the school made Shun think of him again.

Shun turned the page and it changed to pictures of the sports teams and their games. A few of the boys playing soccer or basketball during lunch  
breaks were there, too. A pretty good one of Shun caught mid dunk made him smile. Enomotos expression in the background was priceless.

He looked at each picture on the page and then, there they were. The members in their uniforms all with bright smiles on their faces.

Shun was kneeling in front, next to Hagi and the other smaller members while the taller ones stood in the back. Shugo was behind him to the right, back straight and smiling proudly into the camera.

That photo was quite a rarity, actually. Whenever Shugo knew he was being photographed he tended to look kind of tense. But there was no doubt he looked great during their matches: the intensity of his movements and in his eyes, the sheer force of his hits transferred perfectly through the camera.

The memory made a smile grow on Shuns lips.

Shugo always said he looked just fine. He just had no taste. When he wasn't distracted or looking tense he tended to make funny faces.

He was also an ugly crier.

The expression he made hadn't changed in the slightest from when they were children. They still had that pic of eight year old Shugo crying when he received his very first mitt for his birthday.

Shun used to tease him a lot about it. Especially since he was the type of person who was so photogenic it was almost impossible to take a bad picture of him. A fact that had driven the other members of the team crazy.

They once tried taking an unflattering picture of him for an entire week and grown increasingly agitated.

Shugos phone had received a message with one where Shun glanced into the camera, a bit surprised with a red nose and a soft blush on his cheeks, looking pretty cute, with the caption "What the hell! He just sneezed!" attached to it.

Shun too great pride in that.

He'd still look good even in a dress or wearing a ridicules costume -not that he'd ever put something like that on. Not again.

His sister had been tasked with making a dress for a project and Shun just happened to be the girls size. Why she couldn't just come over and play dress up doll herself, Shun didn't know, but he now a high amount of respect for women who wore corsets.

Good thing no one but Shugo and his sister knew about that, though that Shugo saw it was already bad enough. He had told him it looked good once he had stopped laughing.

He was probably the only person who ever managed to take what Shun considered a bad picture of him. Shugo not being good with technology played a huge part in that. He made sure to get rid of that picture though, so it didn't count!

Shugo hadn't been very happy about it, saying it was adorable.

It had been Shugos grinning, blushing expression when he told him that was adorable. Provocatively so.

Shun had snapped at him because he didn't know how to deal with what he felt otherwise. He had to get it out somehow, do something to hide it and make sure there was no way his reaction could be associated with what Shugos words really did to him. It had been a rather weak comeback, too.

Seriously, what kind of guy just called another guy cute without being flirty? Shugo, mister oblivious, of course.

He had no brain to mouth filter.

Shun couldn't even count how much weird stuff he had said and done in the time they were together. He'd just blurt out random compliments or things that made no sense.

Shun often wished he just shut up, only allowing himself to blush once he was out of sight.

Sometimes Shugo realized he said something weird. Watching his expression change when is slowly sunk in or grow red and flustered as he tried making excuses and "explain himself" when Shun pointed it out to him before.

It usually only ended in Shugo digging his grave even deeper. Teasing him about it was the greatest joy in the world.

Shun shook his head.

Now he had started reminiscing after all...

He didn't know why he had put the book in the shelf in the first place. It should be in the box he had sealed all his baseball stuff in- mitt, uniform, shoes and so on- he put it all in a cardboard box, sealed it with a big stripe of duct tape the day high school finished and pushed it into the far corner of his closet, never to be seen again.

Well, that was until that coach had showed up...

Putting the yearbook in the box with his other stuff would be kind of disrespectful towards his old teammates.

He had loved his time at Yokote . Even with what he had been going through, putting that aside it had been one of the most fun times of his live, and he liked looking at the pictures.

He turned the page again.

He flipped through next few pages covered the sports festival of their second year.

The track race was always one of the major events of the day. The sports teams all made a huge competition out of it, especially the ones that needed the gym, be it seasonal or not. Whoever won had the right to call dibs on the gym before any other club and got preferential treatment in case there was an argument about it.

That was one of their main motivations: the other was that non of them wanted to lose against the track team.

That year the soccer team had won with the baseball team coming second and the track team being in third place.

His eyes stopped on a picture near the bottom to the right, a flash of red having caught his attention.

It was somewhat familiar. It had the runners in focus so the crowd was a bit blurry but there was a shade of red in it that was somewhat familiar.

He'd have ignored it if it wasn't such an ugly shade.

He looked closer and starred at it for a while, trying to figure out what bothered him.

He recognized the face in the crowd -that alone was nothing special, it was his school, after all- It was the out of placeness of the face.

Back then, it would have been just the face of a stranger, he probably walked past him countless times without knowing. But now, that disgusting smile, grinning up at him from the paper made Shuns stomach churn.

Why was he at the sports festival? He didn't have any kids, there was no way any woman would ever want that guy!

The coaches presence at his school felt so wrong. And all Shun could think about was that he didn't want him there.

<p>He felt violated, like he had just broken into his house but instead of throwing him out his parents had invited him for dinner and Shun had to bear sitting with him at the table without being able to do anything but endure it or tell his parents what was going on.

Goosebumps rose on his skin and he felt sick with nausea.

It reminded him of those crime thrillers where the murderer was visible in the background, smiling in a picture taken just before the crime was committed.

The coach was wearing his, apparently favorite, faded, red jacket. He had seen it so many times now it burned itself into his memory, and had grown to hate it.

Shun began flipping through the pages that covered the sports festival and then the ones of the other years, eyes scanning for the blurry shade of red and the closer he looked the more often he spotted him, or at least he thought so.

He couldn't tell if it was just his paranoia feeding too much into every speck of red he saw in the large crowd.

Even of the sports festival of their first year he couldn't tell. The were so many people in the crowd anyone could have been him.

Shun flopped down on the floor and stretched to reach his school bag, not taking his eyes off the pictures. He blindly opened it and pulled out a red marker.

He drew circles around the pictures he was certain he was in and crosses at the edges where he wasn't certain.

Just for how long had he been watching him?

And how long had he been watching Shugo?

He drew circles around the pictures he was certain he was in and crosses at the edges where he wasn't certain, Maybe, just maybe he could use them for something...

Shun shook his head to clear it a little and trying to ignore the paranoia to concentrate his attention on what he was doing.

What he was seeing made Shun feel more and more disgusted.

Now that he thought about it: he had given him the off feeling of having met him before. But it had been more like something familiar transitioning from something subconscious, like a dream, so he ignored it.

Maybe it had been going on for way longer than he originally though.

No, he had to have a relative, a cousin, a nephew, or a friends kid going to the school. There had to be a more logical explanation. One that didn't include him having been watched without his knowledge for years.

`This is like a bad crime thriller.' Shun though.

But he had that same annoying, creepy grin on his face that made Shun want to punch him, like he thought of himself as superior and unreachable, as someone important even though he couldn't do shit; the type that made parents pull their kids close in caution, filling them with a feeling that couldn't be called anything but instinct.

The audacity of that guy to just waltz into his school, his territory, like he owned the place and decide it was okay to ruin his life- his jaw clenched so hard like his teeth were going to shatter.

Of course, of course, it had been a public event open for everyone but that was his school!

He had been at many of events Shun knew he participated in and where Shugo had been alone, too. That those cases were less, maybe two, was the only thing that relieved Shun. At least he was only interested in Shugo because he had to do with him not because of Shugo himself. But the thought of that guy watching him all alone made Shun feel nauseous.

In most of the other pictures they had just been together or Shun was alone himself. The though that it was just him he had his eyes on was still the only thing he managed to pull into the positive.

He didn't know what he would do if he was going after Shugo specifically, too.

Shun flipped through the pages over and over again just to be sure, to be really certain that it was actually him, which resulted in him crossing out some of the pictures he had had marked before after looking at them with a more critical eye.

He just kept the ones he was absolutely certain had the coach in the background.

But it begged the question: for how long had it only been at school?

The police wouldn't give a damn about a few pictures unless Shun was actually harmed by that guy. Still, shun put snippets of paper between the marked pages before he closed the book and put it back into the shelf.

He had spend about an hour sitting on the floor, looking through the yearbook. The sun began lighting up his room.

'Great, what am I going to do with it now?' Shun though about the newly acquired information.

He leaned his back against the bookshelf, closed his eyes and sighed.

He glanced out of the window. The sky turned from almost black into a shade of dark blue.

It was said it's always darkest just before dawn. Shun believed in that saying. He had watched it countless times.

Even now it was still somewhat relaxing.

All the information showed him was how long that bastard must have been planning to take advantage of him, but, essentially, it didn't help him at all, especially not with calming his nerves.  
Anger and frustration gnawed on him like a never ending surge, meshing together into one ugly, grimy mass eating away at his sanity.

He got up and stretched his legs, which had become numb from sitting cross-legged for so long.

He took his sweatpants off and exchanged them for a pair of jeans.

After grabbing his phone, he made his way down the stairs, being as quiet as possible. After that he wasn't going back to sleep anyway.

His grandma was probably already awake. Old people tended to wake up with the sun.

Glancing into the living room as he darted past the door, he couldn't see the old woman sitting in her usual spot. Maybe it was still too early for her after all or she had grabbed at book and decided to read it until the rest of the family woke up.

Shun grabbed his set of keys and set down in the step leading, into his house, to put on his sneakers.

Too bad his red pair didn't fit him anymore. He had liked them.

"Shunji?"

Shun flinched at the sudden voice that came from behind him. He looked over his shoulder.

His grandma stood in the hallway, holding a watering can in shape of a purple elephant.

"That's a rare sight. You usually never wake up this early on weekends."

"I couldn't sleep." Shun said.

"Oh my, did you have a nightmare?"

"Nah, it was too warm in my room." Shun lied. Though, it had been something like a nightmare.

His grandma looked at him concerned, like she didn't quite believe him.

He used to have really bad and abstract nightmares as a child; she comforted him as he was crying countless times.  
She probably thought he had had one and was too embarrassed to tell, thinking a teenager was too old for these kind of things. But, in her typical fashion, she decided to do the kind thing and not prod any further.  
She smiled, showing off her lovely lack of teeth. "What would you like for breakfast?”

Shun thought for a moment. "I'm fine with anything, just no tomatoes!"

His grandmother made a face of pure delight. If there was one thing they shared, it was their mutual hate for tomatoes. His mother always had to force them to eat those gross, slimy, disgusting fruits of the devil.

"I'll hide them in the shack!"

Shun grinned, "Thanks."

He stood up but stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Oh, and we really need something to cover the garbage cans with. Those crows are getting really annoying."

"The old tarp in the shack should work. I'll pick it up when I put when I hide the tomatoes."

"Don't bother. It'll be bad for your back. I'll get it out later."

His grandmother chuckled. "I've got such a nice grandson."

"Ahh, be quiet!" Shun stuck his tongue out at her before opening the door. His grandmother chuckled as her grandson disappeared slipped through and closed it behind him.

The moment he stepped outside Shun wanted to turn on his heel and go back inside.

What if that guy followed him again?

How would he know?

What if he was lurking somewhere in the shadows?

Shun shook his head in annoyance. He couldn't let a guy like that have that much control over his social life. He could decide himself where he wanted to go and who he wanted to hand out with!

Shun took a deep breath, put his hands in his pockets and walked to the front gate.

As he did, he glanced at the garbage cans. The lids had been pushed aside, the bags were pecked open and garbage was thrown around. He stopped and picked up the garbage before placing the lids back on the cans. He had to put the tarp up as soon as he returned.

The gate squeaked loudly as the rusty, old hinges were forced to move. It tended to fall shut with an unmistakable clatter, so, not wanting to wake his family, he carefully closed it behind him.

Having no particular goal in mind, he just let his feet carry him wherever. The morning air was still comfortably clear and Shun loved it. It would soon fade into the summer heat. The weather report said it was going to be hot the entire next week.

He passed Shugos house on his way. It was probably never going to change. The way the garden was maintained, the color, the small group of threes behind it and the big scratches on the side of the corner coming from an escapade with a shopping cart they found in the river they had never bothered to paint over. Even the card was still there.  
Aside from a few joggers the streets were empty. Shun greeted them when their paths crossed but didn't stop to exchange pleasantries. He wasn't in the mood for talking. The silence of the morning was way more enjoyable.

He pulled a cigarette out of his pack, making a mental note to buy a new one later, and lit it.

His lazy stride took him to a park. He stopped at the entrance for a moment before sitting down on a bench.

The green leafs rustled above him in the soft breeze. It tussled his hair, finally making him realize and remove the stick from it that had apparently fallen on him.

Shun took a deep breath and leaned back.

His fingers touched his phone as he put his hands in his pockets. Wrapping his fingers around the cold plastic, he pulled it out and stared at it for a moment. There appeared to be nothing wrong with it on the outside, but what did he know? He wasn't a phone expert.

Shun took the strap, he had tied to it, off and carefully dismantled it. He removed the battery and SIM card, and pretty much everything he could remove, and placed the on the bench beside him, hoping to see anything that looked out of place.

He starred at them but quite frankly, he had no idea what he was doing.

Maybe he should just break or throw it away and get a new one. That way he'd be rid of one source of his stress. But he'd feel bad for making his parents pay for a new phone when there wasn't actually anything wrong with his old one; they weren't exactly cheap.

Would changing the SIM card would be enough?

He put it back together turned it on and put the four digit code to unlock it. The moment he did it started vibrating.

Shun froze.

Confused, he looked at the screen. The number was not one he recognized. Somehow, he had a bad feeling about it.

The phone kept ringing as he looked around but he couldn't see anything. He didn't even know what he was expecting. Eyes on him, that damn smile coming from somewhere in the bushes - he was just being paranoid again, wasn't he?

He wasn't in a goddamn movie!

Chastising himself, Shun picked up and held it to his ear.

It was just a phone call. Nothing else.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Phones are quite expensive, you know."

Shun's entire body went rigid.

His throat constricted and it became hard to breath, yet, he was boiling with anger at the same time.

"You fucking creep!"

"Now that's not polite." The voice on the other line said. That same condescending, "I'm so much better than you and you can't harm me" tone transferred even through the twisted transmition of the phone.

Shun hung up at that moment and didn't hesitate to throw his phone to the ground.

There was an audible crack as it hit a rock.

“Ah, shit...!"

Shun looked around as he went to pick it up. The trees and bushes that had been calming just a minute ago were now eerie and silent, like something could pop out of them at any moment.

It rang again and Shun held it to his ear in annoyance. That persistent little bastard. He just couldn't take being ignored. It was like it was compulsory. He probably placed himself in the pictures on purpose too.

"Didn't I just tell you not to?"

"Following a student is illegal, Sensei."

"I happened to see you. It was purely incidental, Mizugaki-kun."

'Yeah, right.' He just happened to be at the same place Shun randomly went to at 6 pm on a Sunday morning.

"So you decided to call me and warn me not to break the phone you bugged so you can keep tabs on me."

"Oh, but I told you-"

"What you told is bullshit! Don't call me, don't contact me. What I do in my personal time is non of your business and it will never be. All I'm doing is training the team because you are forcing me to and not because I want to. That's all."

"This isn't your park. I swear, teenagers nowadays have no sense for what liberties they have. I'm giving you an opportunity."

Shun could hear his disgusting smile through the phone. He wanted to shove a trash can down that guys throat.

"Don't ever fucking contact me like that again. Actually, if it's not about a match, don't contact me at all!"

He held his phone tight in his hand as he stomped out of the park with hurried steps. It took a lot out of him not to run He stubbornly kept his eyes fixed in front of him while trying to press a few buttons on his phone. The black screen didn't light up as he did. It had a big crack going from the top right to the bottom left.

Only once he was far away enough from the park he slowed down. He felt out of breath even though he hadn't even been running. Again, his phone rang.

He rejected the call without looking.

Shortly after that it rang once more. He looked at it in annoyance and was about to decline again but then he noticed something; he angled the phone in the sunlight. Now that he was out of the shadow of the trees he could just barely make out letters displayed on the screen. He felt a mix of anger and relief as he recognized them.

He pressed the button with more force than necessary and held it to his ear.

“Ah, Mizugaki?” a soft spoken voice came from the other line.

"What the hell, Kaionji! Who calls this early on a Sunday morning?!"

Who the hell did he think he was? He scared the shit out of him!

"I scared you?"

Crap, did he say that out loud?

"Never mind. What do you want?" Shun ran a hand through his hair.

Talk about timing, seriously...

  
Of course Kaionji wouldn't get the hint of having his call rejected and just call again.

"I wanted to ask if you'd like to meet up today."

"You called just to ask that? Couldn't you've just text?"

"But texting is such a bother." Kaionji complained.

Shun didn't get it. Texting was way more practical for little things like that.

"And calling me at six in the morning isn't?”

“Come on, don’t get angry.”

“I’m not angry! Were you that eager to hear my beautiful voice you couldn't even wait for a few more hours?"

Kaionji chuckled. "Something like that. I had a feeling you would pick up. You don't sound like you've just woke up."

"I inform you I've been sleeping like a princess right up until you called." Shun said.

"Sorry about that. Well, what do you say? Do you want to meet up around eleven and get something to eat?"

"Why Kaionji, aren't you eager to go on a date with me~"

Kaionji sputtered. "Do you have to put it that way...?"

'Yes.'

"Well, sounds like a good like a good idea. I can hardly say-" Shun stopped mid-sentence.

What if the coach followed him and decided to after Kaionji, too? He hadn't hesitated to go after Shugo so why would he stop there? Kaionji would be a good target to make absolutely sure Shun would listen to him.  
More out of responsibility than affection. Shun didn’t want him to get into trouble because of him (if he didn’t do it on purpose, that was).

He was a stranger to him and tended to be oblivious bit was close enough to Shun that he'd meet up with him in his free time. Though, was there even anything to find out about Kaionji? Nittas former captain was such a goodie two shoes he couldn't imagine it; but everyone had their little dark secrets. In any other situation Shun would have loved to find out about them.

"Mizugaki? Is everything alright?"

"It's nothing. Well, since you're missing me so much you can treat me."

Kaionji sighed, mixed with a chuckle of amusement. "Fine. I'll pay."

"What a gentleman you are. I appreciate it~" Shun said in a sing song voice.

Shun felt eyes on his back as they talked.

"Well, i see you later then-"

"Wait, Kaionji!"

"What is it?"

"Stay on the line for a little longer."

There was a puzzled silence on the other end. "Uh... sure? Is something wrong?"

"It's nothing. Since I'm not going back to sleep, entertain me."

Shun continued walking while looking around while listening to Kaionji chat about nothing in particular. His team, how he became a regular, and so on.

He couldn't recall having felt that same prickling chill on the back of his neck before, so it was unlikely that he had been watched outside of a huge crowd. Up until last year, that was. There might have been some instances around that time. A certain tension in his body. A feeling of discomfort that appeared occasionally but had been ignored as it never lasted long. Shun could always tell when someone had his eyes on him and it was easy for him to find who they belonged to or at least narrow down the area.

That guy had to have been on his phone somehow; there was no way for him to get his number otherwise. He didn't give it to his any of his teachers and not to his seniors either and there was no reason for a student to give him the number of another student. The school already had every students home number and address. there was no reason to hand over any further personal information. Even for his teammates such a request would have raised a few eyebrows.

"Mizugaki, are you listening?"

"Hm? Yeah, I totally am."

"I can hear your footsteps, you know -you aren't actually at home, are you?"

"Aw, I got found out~" Shun hummed.

"And what might you be doing so early in the morning, Shunji-kun? Are you smoking again?" Kaionji asked in an equally fake, mocking tone.

"Ahh, shut up. You're starting to sound like Shugo."

"It's unhealthy, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, and then my dick will fall off. I know the adds- I've seen them all. I’m home now, see you later!”

*****

“Argh! You damn birds!” Shun shouted as he rounded a corner and his house came in view.

He ran over to it, waving his arms and making shooing noises to get rid of the hungry crows that had settled on the garbage cans once more. Cawing appalled, they took off and settled on the trees around them, waiting for him to go into the house sot hey could return continue with what they were doing before.

It’s said pigeons are the rats of the bird world but crows were way worse. Damn bastards were smart and resilient.

He took the narrow path between a big bush and the wall surrounding his house into the back garden and opened the shack to get the tarp. His grandmother had already placed it close to the door even though he had told her not to lift it…

It was an old, light blue plastic thing. It rustled as he put it under his arm together with a bit of rope.

He tauntingly glared at the crows, who watched him from the branches, as he spread it over the garbage cans. One cawed and he gave it the middle finger before going inside.

He went inside, and, announcing his return, was met with the scent of rice and fried fish.

“Welcome home.” His mother greeted him as he flopped down at the kitchen table and was handed a bowl of rice.

“Where were you so early in the morning?” his mother asked.

“The crows woke me up so I went on a walk. I’m meeting with Kaionji later, so don’t bother making my share for dinner.”

“Is he coming over?” His sister, who had a serious fond steak Kaionji, asked excitedly.

First he intruded on his life and then he went after his little sister. That guy looked way more innocent than he actually was. He had some serious some nerves.

“If he was, I would have said so, wouldn‘t I?” Shun said sarcastically.

His sister pouted. “I meant later, after you meet up.”

Shun shrugged. “We’ll see.”

Disappointed, she grumbled. “You should invite him over more often.”

“Not if you’re going to react like that every time.”

“Oniisan, it’s unfair that you’re always claiming him for yourself. You’re being greedy.”

“Who is claiming who for themselves now? You never reacted that way when it was about Shugo.” Shun said in annoyance.

“What’s Shugo-chan got to do with this? He‘s different.” She said, cocking her head in confusion.

How so? How much was different about Shugo?

“So, you should invite Kaionji for dinner next time.” his sister demanded.

“And see you fawn over him the entire time? No way!”

“I won’t fawn!”

“Now, now, children. It’s always nice to share.” his grandma said.

  
Kaionji was a weird guy.  
Apparently he wasn’t a bad guy but that was exactly what made Shun so suspicious of him.  
It was weird and hard for him to handle someone like him. He certainly was the type of person who would pursue someone they liked. Sometimes Shun didn’t know how to handle his demanding honesty. He wasn’t used to the kind of people who wouldn’t leave him alone no matter how much venom he spat at them. It was like his words all just bounced off of him.

Maybe he was just stupid?

“It’s still strange not to have Shugo-chan come around anymore now that he’s so far away.” his mother said.

“I miss him.” Kana said.

Shun made no comment and kept playing with his fish. He didn’t have much of an appetite.

“Oniisan, don’t you miss him too?”

“Not really?”

She frowned. “Really not?”

“What’s with your pestering today? Just be quiet.”

Shugo would certainly show up when he did return for summer break. His sister would be delighted. She had always been like a second, or rather, third, older brother to her. He‘d surely come. Or maybe not… it wasn’t like he had the last year either.

Shun was glad he didn’t. Kind of.

He didn’t know how he’d react given the situation. It would be better if he didn’t come, no matter Shuns feelings.

He forced the rest of his breakfast down and returned to his room first.

“What’s with him today… he and Shugo-chan used to be inseparable.” Kana mumbled.

“Must be puberty.” her mother said.

They all knew that wasn’t the case, but they didn’t know why he was acting so cranky either. He wasn’t going to tell them what was bothering him or if something was bothering him in the first place.

He had always dealt with his problems on his own and never asked for their help. He was doing it rather well but that didn’t mean they thought it was good for him.

…….

Shun walked up the creaking stairs to his room and slid the door shut behind him. He took off his shirt, which he had been wearing to sleep as well and was beginning to smell rather nasty, grabbed a small notebook, flopped down on the floor and jotted down the numbers from his contact list, wondering how Kurinosukes got in there until he remembered that it had basically been forced onto him (some people were just so persistent…).  
  
He had to stretch out on the floor and drag his desk lamp over to even see what was being displayed on the cracked screen. That he had been able to recognize Kaionjis name was already a miracle.

Once he was done he put the notebook back into the drawer of his desk, sat down on his futon and grabbed his DS.  
He didn’t want to think anything right now. A book held too much of a risk to let his mind wander instead of the words that were supposed to simmer through his mind. So he let himself sink into the wonderful world of mindless video games until it was time to meet up with Kaionji, purposefully tuning down on the snacks so he could order more food for Kaionji to pay for just to piss him off.

He didn’t give the usual “I’m off!” to his family when he left. He didn’t go through the front door either. Instead he went into the garden and climbed over the wall. Pulling himself over the cold stone with ease, Shun landed in the narrow street between the neighbors houses.

He looked left then right before continuing on his way.

The constant urge too turn around loomed over him like a dark mist but the didn’t feel that bone chilling sensation of eyes piercing through his back. Not yet, that was. If it turned out that guy only had a way to watch him from the front door he might take the back route more often.

Still, Shun walked with fast steps to the fast food place he frequented when he was too lazy to make something himself. It was average at best. He didn’t know why Kaionji liked it so much. on the other hand - it was fast food. It wasn’t supposed to be good. The fruit drinks and the fries were good at least, which was the most important thing. Seriously, frying fries wasn’t that hard, how could people still mess that up?!  
For some reason Kaionji had the tendency to never arrive before the agreed on time. Maybe it was a knack of his. For Shun, someone who always showed up early, it was annoying.

“Mizugaki!”

Finally. The subject of his concerns decided to grace him with his presence, all sweaty and out of breath, like he had ran part of the way.

“You’re late!” Shun greeted him.

“Sorry, did you have to wait for long?”

“Yeah, for ages! I was about to leave!” Shun exaggerated playfully.

“You must have been really eager to see me then. It‘s been fife minutes.” Kaionji teased.

Shun smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, totally~” the sarcasm was practically dripping from his lips. “Let’s go inside.” He said and pushed the glass door of the fast food place open with his shoulder without waiting for Kaionji. He was going to follow him anyway, whether he looked or not.  
They got their food and Shun picked a table where he had a good view of the big panel windows but was hard to be spotted from the outside.

“Well, what have you been up to? Anything special happened that you wanted to meet up with me for? Aside from becoming a regular, of course.” Shun asked. Kaionji had mentioned something about that during his chatter in the morning.

“There’s nothing, I just felt like it. And I told you, it’s only for one match; there’s nothing certain yet.”

“You could just make one of the regulars who had your spot trip.”

Kaionji gave him a glare. “Sure, and then I get rid of the witnesses and when anyone else gets the position instead I repeat the process.”

Shun snapped his fingers. “You get it!”  
Kaionji made a face and Shun gave him a grin in response. “Well, what’s your team like? You’ve must have gotten a whole bunch of new first years.”

Kaionji looked like he was about to sigh, “They’re good, some really skilled player but a few of them like making trouble. They’re trying to be intimidating and don’t listen to the senpais.”

The description reminded him of Katai.

“Shouldn’t your coach take care of that?” Shun asked.

“He’s on sick leave. A twisted knee, I think. He should be back by the end of next week.”

“Lock them in a dark room at night and scare them a little.”

“Mizugaki…”

“I’m kidding.” Shun said with a smile that said that he was, in fact, not fully kidding.

“So you came to me to ask for advice, or do you only want to complain?”

“Saying things out aloud and getting them off your chest really helps you get another view of them, remember?”

“So you just wanted to complain about it.”

Kaionji shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “I was just wondering what you’d do in my situation.”

“Aw, can’t get your team under control so you have to ask for my help~ I should be getting insulted at you for thinking that I’d have any experience with that. My teams have always been lovely and well behaved.”

Aside from that one time with the crickets. And with the left over costumes from the culture festival, or insisting the birth mark on Shuns back looked like Mothra because a butterfly didn’t suit his personality. Or getting hopelessly lost because of course you can tell where you are by where the sun stands in the sky and it’s always north, why are you asking?  
And there was that time with his new team where they almost got injured by attempting - and failing- to do cartwheels with the gymnastic team. That wasn’t a lot but they still had two years to change that.

“You’re not the captain anymore. You don’t need to worry about these kind of things at the moment. Just have fun playing baseball.”

“But I want to be on a good team. It’s more fun when it works well together, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Just get to know them and how their heads work. Make what they need to do sounds enticing to them. Easy as that. If that doesn‘t work show them how they lost because of their uncooperativeness’ and they‘ll get it.”

“That sounds terrible…”

“It works.”

“Have you done it before?”

“Not on my own team.”

Kaionji raised his eyebrows, looking as curious as he was horrified.

“I want my opponents to be in their best shape too. It‘s more fun when you beat them down.” Shun let a devilish smirk play across his lips.

“You kind of sound like a villain, you know.”

Kaionji took a bit from his burger. Shun didn’t get how he could eat so much of that stuff.

“Admit it, it’s the best.”

Kaionji made a grumbling sound and looked down, silently agreeing but being to set up in his kindness to admit it. He didn’t need to. Shun already knew he was right.

“So, what are your senpais doing about it?” Shun asked, lazily glancing out of the window.

“Yelling.”

“Smooth.”

“They’re working on it. If they keep acting up we just won’t use them.”

“That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?” Shun sipped on his drink. Had he ordered strawberry? He couldn’t remember. it tasted like it.

“Well, maybe a little but all I care about is having a working team.”

“Says the who still used someone as cocky as the princess. You can’t tell me that went well from the very beginning.”

To his surprise, Shuns words seemed to have hit a different mark as expected. Kaionjis face twisted and his grip on his drink tightened, like he remembered something very unpleasant.

Harada could already make them, who had only seen him maybe four times, feel so insecure. It couldn’t be much better for those who had to see him every practice. Shun remembered Kaionjis words, “For just a moment, I felt this hatred towards them…” How he couldn’t hit off of him and the knowledge that he’d never be able to hit a pitch like that, not ever in his life, it frustrated him and made him feel and think things uncharacteristic for himself resulting in him being shocked at his own mind. Shun was glad Harada hadn’t been on his team.

“No, well, a little… there were some complications but he somewhat grows on you, you know.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Whatever Harada wanted or not as long as it gave good results I’d put him on the team.”

“Yeah, you bragged to me about that, remember?”

Not that he had had any choice but use him to get their rematch against Yokote but he’d been rather proud about been given full freedom to do with the battery whatever he wanted.

“It took a while to get used to him but in the end, the second years became rather attached to him. He’s still as disobedient and stubborn as always but it can be kind of cute.”

Shun snorted. “Not my type.”

“Having such an amazing pitcher on the team was fun. Our team was never very strong so we didn‘t expect getting someone like him. It was always something other teams had.”

Maybe that was a part of why they didn’t get along at the beginning. Shun couldn’t imagine being happy about it himself.

Shun raised his shoulders and shook his head. “He really is a wicked witch. Nonomura said something like that too during our rematch.”

In the end, they all just become obsessed with him. Even Kaionji had grown fond of him in a weird way, though Shun knew he used to see Harada more of a bother before. Not that he’d ever admit that.

“He actually asked me if I was jealous of you guys, can you believe that? I’m beginning to think he’s made you go crazy.”

Kaionji gave him a look that was a mix between being concerned and mildly offended.

“It’s nothing like that. Hey, let’s just stop talking about Harada.”

“Sure.” Meaning, “Gladly.”

“What have you been up to?”

“Me? I’m enjoying my high school life to the fullest.” That must have been the biggest lie he had ever told.

Kaionji squinted at him. “You look kind of tired.”

Shun had the urge to roll his eyes. ‘That guy and his damn lucky guesses.’ Was what he would have thought a year ago but after spending some more time with Nittas former captain he had learned that they weren’t always just lucky.

“Yeah, the crows in front of my house decided fife in the morning was a good time to attempt getting into the trash cans in front of my house and wouldn’t just up and only one hour later a certain someone called insisting to meet up.”

“You agreed, though.”

“Did I had much of a choice?”

Kaionji smiled in a way that told him that he did, in fact, not.

“It’s not like you could sleep anyway. You were outside when I called.”

“I hoped they’d be gone by the time I was back. Just cause I was awake doesn’t mean I didn’t intend to go back to sleep. I‘m happy about every free day I can get. My high school still takes stuff pretty serious, you know.”

“I thought it wasn’t as strict as an elite school.”

“It’s still a high school. If your grades drop you get in trouble. The teachers are either old fashioned or old farts who‘ve been there for over ten years and only haven‘t been fired because of budget cuts. There‘s one who send me and a few others to the principals office because we got our calculators to spell “Boobies” and laughed about it in self-study. The teacher flipped and threw us out, saying we “hacked our calculators”. She’s like, seventy. ”

Kaionji snorted. “How does that even work?”

Shun shrugged.

“What did you tell the principal?”

“He just sighed and kept us in the office for ten minutes until she calmed down. Then he send us back. At that time, she had already forgotten who we were.”

Something that could be quite useful when he felt like leaving the classroom in the middle of her lessons, or just staying there for attendance before going home an hour early. Shun and his friends had done it countless times.  
“She’s got some kind of connections: think it was her being a sponsors wife. At least she doesn’t give homework.”

Kaionji looked at him bemused. “Lucky you. My teachers think homework is the only thing students should do in their free time. I hear the senpais complain about it constantly.”

Shun reached for his fries but realized he had non left, so he stole some from Kaionji, who gave him a disgruntled glare.

“Bet you’re afraid of the teachers.” Shun commented.

“Why would I be?”

“Oh, please. Not being able to sleep, the feeling of dread remembering you have a lesson with them the next day or forgotten your homework- it’s the joys of school life!”

“That’s primary school stuff!”

“Some things never change.”

It was an effective tactic. Also traumatizing for the students but as if that mattered.

“You don’t have to be afraid if you just do your homework.”

“You can’t tell me that you’ve never forgotten. You‘re such a goody-two-shoes.”

Though, Shun rarely ever forgot them either. And when he did the teachers knew nothing about it since the students had a system for copying each others homework.

Kaionji gave him a deadpan look. “Goody-two-shoes enough to meet up with you in the middle of the night, after curfew.”

“You’re saying that like it wasn’t fun.”

Shun went to steal another fry and received a slap on the hand. He pouted.

“We almost got caught!” Kaionji reminded him.

“But we didn’t.”

It wasn’t like they had been up to no good. Shun just called him out of boredom one night and dragged Kaionji along to stroll around the neighborhood. There was something appealing about how things changed at night. How just a shadow could make an entire building unrecognizable, how cars and bushes became creepy silhouettes hiding shapes of their imagination, ready to jump out at them at any moment.

Shun never saw it as anything negative. The darkness calmed him. Not attacking his mind with countless colors and blurred shapes of people and voices, filled with a comfortable silence that always felt cold even when the night was blazing hot. Everything just became more fun at night.  
  
He only took Kaionji along to annoy him in the first place. He had been dead tired for sure. Shun hadn’t though. He greatly enjoyed dragging him around.  
Well, the old police officer couldn’t have known they weren’t up to any trouble. Two teenagers sneaking around in the middle of the night wasn’t exactly a trustworthy sight. Running away on instinct when he called out to him hadn’t helped proof their innocence either. Whether they had been caught or just waited for him to approach, they’d been in trouble either way. At least the adrenalin rush had helped Kaionji wake up.

“It was still unnecessarily close!” Kaionji insisted.

“One old cop against two athletes. He didn’t have a chance to catch up to us.”

“Hm… I feel kind of bad for him.”

“Oh come on, we’d have been screwed if he got to us.”

“You could have just told him you were walking me home, or something.”

“Aw, were you so afraid of the dark you needed me to accompany you~” Shun teased.

“I meant only as an excuse.” Kaionji said.

“Who’s believe that? If one of us were a girls maybe it would have worked but not with two guys.”

“Hm, you could have dressed up.”

“I don’t need to know about your fetishes. And why would I have been the one to dress up?”

“You’re the one with the sister.”

“You have one too.” Shun reminded him.

“But you’re closer to her size.”

“Nonsense. They‘re way too small for me.”

Yes, he had tried so she could get a feel on how she was supposed to make the dress for her friend and, no, he was neither going to elaborate nor mention it to Kaionji. But it was his sisters fault, not his own.

“How do you know that?”

Damn it.

“Shut up. We got away in the end. That‘s what matters.”

“I was pulling thorns out of my shoes and pants days after, you know.” Kaionji complained.

“Oh, stop whining.”

Shun found it as exciting as it was terrifying and Kaionji did, too, though he let his reasoning and “what ifs” keep him from admitting it. Kaionji was surprisingly happy to disobey and bend the rules when the situation called for it. He was more spontaneous and brash than Shun had originally though, which still made it complicated for Shun to predict his next move. The tendency to just say burst of weird stuff irked him and he wasn’t very fond of it.  
For some reason Kaionji had just refused to stay away from him no matter what signals Shun gave off. Shun didn’t get why he was so insistent on being friends with him and eventually, he had just shrugged it off and began hanging out with him. He could be really annoying at times but it was fun.

“Do you have any idea what kind of bush that was? I though I was going to loose an eye for a second.”

“Heh, you’re no the only one, and I have no idea, but whoever it belongs to should kill it with fire. That thing is a danger to everything around it.”

Though it had saved their asses at least once. Frankly, not without several attempts of stabbing them and were it alive it would probably go after their friends and families next, but that wasn’t the point. Whoever grew those things had to be a sadist. Or a masochist, depending on who you asked.

Shun glanced out of the window. Scanning the crowd for an unfortunately familiar face, expecting it to pop up like a jump scare in some cheap horror movie. He saw nothing but didn’t relax. It was just a casual stare.

Kaionji eyed him suspiciously. “Mizugaki, you’re kind of distracted today, did something happen?”

There he was again…

“No? I’m doing peachy.”

Had he been showing songs? Shun wondered. He hadn’t been any different then usual. Kaionjis perceptiveness was annoying, too. Usually, it was Shugo who noticed these kind of things, blaming it on them having known each other for so long, sometimes much to Shuns own surprise.

Kaionji studied him for a few more seconds, then he leaned back, deciding to drop it. “If you say so. Ah, that’s right. I still have that book you lend me.”

“Which one?”

“The horror story about the girl in the mansion.”

“Ah, that one. What did you think?”

“It was pretty good. Though you were right about the protagonist.”

“I know, right? She was like, “Oh, an abandoned house with animal heads impaled on the fence- let’s check it out!” she should be happy the floor didn’t collapse under her.”

“Hm, I would have been curious to check what’s inside, too. I’m surprised that she took the camera with her instead of looking through it right then and there.”

“That was the only smart thing she did. Like, did she just forget all the weird stuff that was going on in there?” Shun sipped on his drink.

“I think it sounded like fun.”

Yeah, being haunted through an old, creepy building by all kinds of shady, murderous creatures and probably a shadow monster intend on removing your liver with a rusty spork sounded like so much fun.

“Kaionji, you’d be the first person to die in a horror movie. You‘re like one of these urban explorers.” Shun said with a deadpan look.  
  
“Urban exploration fun is though.”

“You’ve done it before?”

Kaionji finished the last bite of his burger before answering. “A few times.”

“Like where?”

There weren’t a lot of options in the area. If a building was abandoned it was demolished and sold again. Construction sights were the only thing he came up with on the spot.

“Hm… abandoned barns, old houses, something that was either a bunker or an abandoned mine shaft.”

“Don’t tell me you went there at night…”

That was dangerous as hell, collapsing stairs, creaky floors ready to break as soon as any weight was put on them, not to speak of what kind of critters and people liked to hang out in those kind of places

“It’s more fun that way.”

“You’ve got a few screws loose.”

Nittas former captain laughed. “You’re the one to talk. You know several of these kind of places just as well.” he referred to the times Shun had led him to left areas he discovered on the walks he took to air his mind.

“I’ll take you along next time.” Kaionji said.

“No thanks. I don’t need to get arrested for trespassing .”

They continued chatting for a little longer after finishing their food. Mindless talk that went on as they put their garbage away and left the restaurant.

The air became heavy and humid with the passing time.

“Looks like it’s going to rain.” Kaionji said. Holding out a hand in front of him.

“Ugh, I hate this kind of weather.” Shun complained. He was already beginning to feel sticky. “I’m coming over to your house today. I want to get my book back.”

Kaionji looked a bit disgruntled at him deciding that on his own but he didn’t complain. “Sure.”

  
……..

  
“Here.” Kaionji handed him a glass of juice he had asked for before flopping down next to him, leaning against the bed.

“Thanks.”

Shun took a sip. The cold liquid rolling down his throat felt like heaven, sending a wave of cold through his body that continued heating up with the increasing heat outside.

“Ah, by the way. I heard your school formed a baseball team recently.”

“How do you know about that?” Shun asked.

“I heard some of the guys talk about it in the locker room. They have a friend who goes to your school or something.”

“Don’t you have charming topics while getting naked. You‘re supposed to talk about girls and first times and all that kind of stuff during that time.”

“Like the flirty guy who goes to that school that formed a baseball team recently?”

Shun huffed. “Exactly. Though, I don‘t need a guy with taste as messed up as yours to talk about me. You called me cute right after I got punched in the face.”

“I still find you interesting, even without getting punched in the face.”

“Wow, thanks for the compliment.” Shun said sarcastically.

Kaionji had said these kind of things quite a few times. Teasing each other about these kind of things was fun. It was weird. Kaionji was weir, saying weird stuff.

“You really need to get a girlfriend.” Shun decided.

“Where did that come from?” Kaionji asked.

“Just stating the facts.”

Kaionji hummed. “Hm… currently, I’m just fine without one. And it‘s not like you’re in a relationship either.”

“I am - well, was…”

They had ended breaking things off after half a year. She was a good girl but kind of annoying, and she probably thought the same of him, so they parted on good terms.

“It doesn‘t count if you broke up.”

“At least I had one.”

“That’s nothing special, given your numbers.”

“You’re making me sound like some kind of whore.” Kaionji choked on his drink, much to Shuns silent enjoyment. “Sure, I like fooling around but I haven’t had that many. If your team belongs to a school that’s as big on baseball as Yokote the girls are all over you. Not that you’d have any experience with that lovely sensation.”

A bunch of cute girls squealing about them and calling out their names from the stands, taking pictures with their phones and whispering excitedly between each other when he waved at them. The jealous stares from the boys was a huge plus, too.

“Yeah, I saw the fan girls. Isobe was super pissed about them. You winked at them and they got even more pissed.”

“Really? I don’t remember that.”

Shun rubbed his chin, trying to recall whether he had seen the guys from Nitta before. There were so many people he had pissed off in his lifetime he couldn’t recall all of them.

“It’s not that important. The team got more attention ever since Harada joined.”

“Yeah, pretty boys have that kind of effect.”

Shun glanced at Kaionji out of the corner of his eye. He looked like he was thinking about something again. “You jealous?”

Kaionji shrugged. “We got enough of the attention he attracted for ourselves. And I’ve been getting enough from my current team.”

Of course Kaionji would be popular with the other guys. He received a lot of respect from his own as well as the members of other teams. He was polite and everyone received the same amount of respect from him - something that went well with the younger students.

“Anyone you’ve got your eyes on there?”

“Hm-hm, lots of cute guys.” Kaionji said sarcastically.

There was a lull in the conversation where they just sat in silence, sipping on their drinks. It was really getting awfully hot. Shun already dreaded the walk home.

“About your team-” Kaionji started.

“I didn’t join.” Shun said before he could continue.

“That’s not what I was going to ask. How are they?”

“Scouting out the opponent, huh?”

“It’s nothing like that. I’d never~” Kaionji said with a playful grin.

Shun mimicked the expression, “I’m not going to blabber to the enemy. You ain‘t getting anything out of me.” He wasn’t a Kurinosuke after all. “If you want to know something you’ll have to check them out yourself.”

“Fine, I’ll just come to your school then.” Kaionji decided.  
  
“Just watch the next exhibition game!” He didn’t need him to snoop around at his school too. He was going to find out Shun was part of the team sooner or later but he’d rather avoid the topic as long as possible, and he didn’t want that coach to see them together. Kaionji had sharp eyes for these kind of situations and would certainly notice something was a little off.

“Sure, when is it?”

“I don’t know. I told you, I’m not part of it.” Plus, he really didn’t know. At this point the was beginning to think the coach even knew he was supposed to schedule them.

“Why not? You love baseball.”

“Don’t just decide that on your own.” Shun said instinctively.

But Kaionjis look already told him that he was convinced of his words no matter what Shun said. Another one of his annoying trades. More annoying than that was that he wasn’t even wrong and Kaionji knew that.

“I have nothing to do with baseball anymore.”

“Right, right.” Kaionji dismissed. Shuns eye twitched.

“By the way, what happened to your face?” Kaionji asked, probably wondering who he pissed off now.

Unfortunately Shun had to disappoint him. “I got into a huge fight with four guys - beat up three of them- you should have been there, three of them were crying, it was amazing!”

“Really? That’s so cool!” Kaionjis eyes sparkled like he actually believed him, much to Shuns own amazement.

“I’m kidding, you know. It’s a joke.”

Kaionji chuckled, “Ah, I thought so.”

Shun didn’t know what to thing of him. He felt like letting his shoulders sag and sigh in confusion. Just what was up with him…

“So, who punched you this time?”

Shun fake huffed. “Sorry that I’m not hitting your expectations of an adventurous story but I got hit by a stray ball in GYM class.”

“You got hit by a stray ball?” Kaionji put emphasis on the ‘you’ , holding back a laugh.

“Even I happen to look away sometimes.” Shun said, trying to sound like he was informing an idiot of something basic. It did not work.

Kaionji laughed this time. “The great Shunji got hit in the face by a stray ball because he wasn’t looking.”

“Oh, shut your mouth! It was dodge ball, there were a lot more balls!” Shun had to clear his throat after that sentence. “Anyway, it happens all the time in Gym class so don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“I’d like to see what kind of GYM class you guys have.”

“You don’t.”

So man balls…

Shun dug into his pocked and pulled his pack of cigarettes out, tapping it to put one between his lips. “Ah, do you mind if I smoke in here?”

“It’s fine. Just sit close to the window.”

Shun got up, slid the glass panel open and flopped down next to it. He glanced outside, quickly checking whether or not he’d see an unwelcome figure lurking somewhere nearby.  
He saw nothing. The garden trick seemed to have worked and he had turned his phone off before reaching the fast food place. The only thing following him from his house was a god damn crow, sitting on a tree opposite the house. Shun glared at it.

Kaionji watched him with curious concern. “Hey, Mizugaki, are you alright? You’ve been kind of on edge today”

Shun put on a confused expression. “I’m fine., why?”

“You’ve been looking over your shoulder pretty often while we were walking to my house - is there someone following you or something?”

“Kaionji, I know I’m handsome but I’m lucky enough not to have these kind of fans.”  
  
Kaionji pursed his lips, “What were those looks out of the window for then?”

“It’s nice outside.”

“Well, yeah… it’s pretty nice.” Kaionji had to admit. “Ah, there’s a crow!” he noted as he got up to take book from the bookshelf.

“I hate crows.” Shun grumbled. He glared at the black bird that had been watching him the entire time.

“They‘re smart animals.”

“They’re pricks. Always loud, making a ruckus with the garbage every damn morning and showing up wherever I am - I swear they’re starring at me.”

The crow cocked it’s head. ‘Trying to look innocent, aren’t you, you little alarm clock replacement?’ Shun thought, eyes narrowed.

“Don’t tell me you’ve been watching for the crows the entire time…”

“I don’t have a crow stalker either, Kaionji. I couldn’t care less about those flying rats.”

“They’re just birds, Mizugaki. And the rats of the bird world are obviously pigeons.”

“What? No, pigeons are cute and their cooing sounds are adorable, especially compared to those black bastards.”

Shun stuck his tongue out at it. The crow did not look impressed.

“Have you ever seen a crow use a train? Pigeons do that sometimes.”

“No way!” Kaionji said in disbelieve.

“They do! I saw them when I went to Tokyo.”

“I’ve never heard of birds using a train, but crows are still cooler than pigeons.”

Kaionji flopped down beside him again and handed him the book he had borrowed.

“So you’d rather share a card with one of them? A big, black bird sitting right next to you, starring at you with their evil little eyes and their huge ass beak just inches away form your face-”

“I’d rather not share a card with any kind of bird if I had the choice but I’d still prefer a crow over a disease riddled pigeon.”

“They’re just as disease riddled as pigeons. All they ever do is dig in the trash.”

“You just don’t like them because they annoy you.”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

Being annoyed was an essential to starting to dislike something, or someone. Why else would you dislike them?! Even jealousy, and anger originated in it.

“They could peck my eyes out.”

“Pigeons could too.”

“Twelve maybe, but a group of crows is called a “murder” for a reason.”

Kaionji starred at him in horror. Great, now he thought a bunch of crows actually murdered someone. Should he correct him…? Nah, maybe later.

“Are you serious?”

“Hm-hm, I’m surprised you didn’t know, country boy as you are.” Shun stubbed out his cigarette and lit himself another one.

“You’re just as country as I am.”

“Yokote is still way bigger.”

It was incredibly how much a few thousand more people could do in a communities mind set. The more there are the less they care for what their neighbors are up to.

“Hm, here you would never be able to smoke so freely without the entire town finding out.” Kaionji snatched the cigarette from between Shuns lips and claimed it for himself.

“Hey!”

“It’s a fee for hanging out here.”

Shun shrugged dismissively, “I’m leaving then.”  
“Oh, don’t be like that.” Kaionji chuckled, taking a drag of the cigarette.

Shun glared at him and lit himself another one. He was beginning to run out again.

“Just buy your own if you want to smoke that badly instead of always snatching from me.”

“My parents would disown me if they found out. I can’t just walk to the corner store and ask for some. Plus, I’m not an addict.”

Shun huffed. “Damn opportunity smokers.”

“Coming from a chain smoker that’s hardly an insult. Why don‘t you just quit? chews some gum instead.”

“Ugh, no way. I don’t want to become on of those people who’re always chewing on something. They look ridicules.”

And he didn’t like gum. Where’s the point in chewing something if you aren’t supposed to eat it?

“And wrecking your lungs is so much cooler?” Kaionji inclined.

“Oh, shut up. You’re starting to sound like Shugo.”

He had never like it when Shun smoked, being an athlete and all, as well as not being a fan of the smell in Shuns clothes.

“He’s just concerned for your health and so am I.”

Shun waved him off. “Yeah, yeah, anything else you want, mom?”

In his current situation, he really needed the tobacco to calm his nerves. He had meant to stop smoking or at least become an opportunity smoker but thanks to the stress it was the only thing that made him relax nowadays. That they didn’t have any alcohol in their house was a good thing or else even a sip would have become very tempting every time the coach opened his mouth.  
Maybe seeing Shugo again would do the same trick to calm him too. Thinking of him made Shun feel calm, more at ease - comfortable, almost. But seeing him wasn’t an option. He knew that.  
Kaionjis eyes narrowed, like he was thinking of something and struggling to put it onto words. “Hey, Mizugaki… did Kadowaki have anything to do with you quitting baseball?”

Wearily, Shun tensed, “What do you mean?”

“It’s just… you aren’t the type of person to quit something you love just like that. It doesn’t suit you.”

Shun’s eyes became cold. “And what makes you thing that? You’re the one who just decided that I love it. Don’t try fitting me into your fantasies.”

“But you do love baseball, don’t you?”

It was getting harder to keep loving it. Did he even care anymore?

“And you believe Shugo could be the only reason why I quit, like I‘ve got nothing else to think about? Stop thinking about these kind of things and mind your own business.” Shuns voice slid over his tongue like a knife.

“But-”

“Shut up. What are you getting at? Are you blaming Shugo for me quitting?”

He didn’t blame Shugo. It wasn’t his fault. He had been planning to put an end to it way before he made the decision to convey his feelings to Shugo. Maybe even before the thought of what those emotions might meant crossed his mind. He had always known that he wouldn’t continue, had known deep down that he had other worth’s. Taking baseball too serious had never been on his agenda.

“I’m not. It just seems that Kadowaki had something to do with it. Did something happen between the two of you?”

Cold fingers clawed around Shuns heart but his expression didn’t change.  
How did he notice? What did he do to give it away and how many more people had the suspicion that something happened between them?  
He didn’t think Kaionji knew a lot. It nothing else he could probably rely on him keeping his mouth shut. Who did he think he was to blame Shugo, anyway? Always acting like he knew anything about him. Kaionji had met Shugo maybe fife times! He should just shut up. People were so much more enjoyable when they were quiet.

Had he accepted the scholarship he’d now be stuck on a team filled with the people he hated the most.  
If he never met him it would be a different story. Not that that was ever a possibility. Getting away from Shugo and recovering was a big point in of it but not all of it. He’d still have quit of he hadn’t fallen in love with Shugo. That didn’t mean Kaionji was right with any of his accusations. Shugo didn’t even know until the very end.

“No, nothing happened. Shugo didn’t have anything to do with it. I did it of my own accord, so stop acting like you know everything about people!”

Kaionji flinched at his harsh tone. “Sorry…”

“Whatever.” Shun growled and got up. “I’m leaving!”

“Mizugaki.”

Irritated, Shun snapped around, pulling the door open in the same motion. “What? I already have my book!” What did he want now?!

“That’s not the door.”

“What?”

Shun turned back to the door and was faced with clothes, boxes, spare bed sheets and thick comforters for the winter, a bat and Kaionjis uniforms, old and new ones, were in there as well.

Shuns face turned beat red. “I- I knew that! I just wanted to check what’s inside!” He slammed the door shut and stomped over to the other.

“Mizugaki.”

“What!?”

“That’s not the door either.”

“How many god damn doors do you have?!”

“I lied. It’s the door.”

Shun slid the door open and starred into the hallway with a baffled expression, then back at Kaionji, who smiled at him.

“Why!?” Shun asked in an exaggerated tone.

“Something is going on, isn’t it?”

“Kaionji, I’m going to throw a book at you.”

“Please, be my guest.”

“Whack!”

“Autch! You didn’t have to actually throw it!”

Nah, he had to. It felt way too good to pass up on it.

Kaionji adjusted his glasses which had almost been flung off his face, while holding the book in his other hand.

“What were you expecting?”

“Not to aim for the face?”

“What goes around comes around.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

Shun shrugged. ‘It’s what you get for prodding.’

They glared at each other for a moment; not moving and not saying a word until Shun awkwardly broke the silence. “Kaionji, give me my book back.”

“You threw it at me; you clearly don’t want it.”

Huffing, Shun stomped over to him and snatched the book out of Kaionjis outstretched hand and stomped back to the door.  
“Alright, now I’m leaving!”

“Right, right.”

Kaionji got up to accompany him down the stairs. Even when annoying each other, he still had common courtesy.  
Not that it was necessary in Shuns eyes. He didn’t need someone who dismissed him to hand on him like a child on their mothers dress any longer.

“See you next time.” Kaionji said with his usual, ‘I don’t care what you say’ smile.

“There won’t be a next time!” Shun snapped.

“Hm-hm, I’ll call you when I find out when the next match of your school is. We can watch it together.”

“No thanks! They‘re a pain so don’t bother!” Shun said and slammed the front door behind him.

Crap. Had he given him a hint now after all…?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just realized it appears there have been some problems with this chaoter because it was posted, like, three and a half times? i have no idea how that happened but I#m trying to fix it and hope it'll work out this time...)
> 
>  
> 
> Oh my god this took ages! and, yes I am running out of names for the chatpters, thanks for asking.
> 
> I know the ending is kind of a let-down but the chapter was already getting way too long and the original ending was even worse.
> 
> this was kind of dialogue practice and i think it turned out rather well. i always have trouble with dialogue and this was probably the longest i've ever written and i even cut out a lot of the chatter. 
> 
> btw. i do not hate crows or pigeons. i love them. i do, however, hate tomatos.
> 
> I was honestly tempted to split this chapter in half as well but i already promised Kaionji in the last chapters so I hope you enjoyed your almost fifty pages.
> 
> and who noticed the little persona 5 refference;)
> 
> (also, in case you're curious about the "if Shugo and Shunji never met" part i do have a concept for that too. i don't know whether i'm going to write it or not, since it will certainly be very hard to write thanks to batteries lack of side characters and might turn out rather dull. intersting, but dull.)
> 
> a few of the scenes refferenced (like Kaionji calling Shun cute after he got punched even though i think i mistranslated that part) are from the battery novels.  
> well, the notes are already too long so let's rap this up-  
> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and feel free to tell me what you think;)


	6. Things don't match (part 1)

“Mizugaki-san?”

Shun looked up from where he was sitting the comfortably cool shadow of the dug-outs.   
He let Sato have his position for the inning so he could watch them. There weren’t nearly enough members to form two teams to play against each other so they spread out. 

Hashimoto was on the mound while Shun would pitch for the “other” team. He was a fast learner but too eager and not very thorough.   
Hiraga, who had volunteered to be his catcher, had to jump all over the place to catch his pitches, if he wasn’t getting hit or dropping the ball. 

Shun couldn’t blame him, at least the bruise on his face had healed by now.

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to pitch next.” Shun said to Ishiki, who had quietly approached him. 

“I switched with Katai, so it’s alright.”

‘More like he made you.’ Shun thought.

He sighed. “Is he addicted to batting or something…”

A powerful swing was useless if it didn’t connect. Though, with Hashimoto pitching, not getting hit was something the brain liked to prioritize over batting and made the body move instead out of the way on instinct.

“So, what did you want?” Shuns voice wasn’t accusing, still, Ishiki flinched. “You didn’t just come here for nothing. Come on, out with it.”

“I…” Ishiki took a deep breath and put on a surprisingly determined expression. Even fake bravery could become bravery if kept up for long enough. “I want to try pitching, too. Please teach me!”

Shun smiled. “That’s the spirit! I’ve been waiting for you to finally approach me.”

“Y-you did?”

“Yeah, stay behind after practice, I‘ll show you then.”

Ishikis face lit up, “Thank you!”

“Ishiki, what are you doing there? You’re up next, get ready!” Hiraga shouted from the other sides dugouts. 

Shun glanced at the batter box. There was a shout as Katai nearly got hit by a wild pitch.

“You better hurry.” Shun hummed. Ishiki nodded and ran back to his team.

 

****

 

“Don’t you think it’s about time to have a real match soon?” Sato asked  
Hiraga as the vice captain helped him take his gear off.

“Maybe we should ask Mizugaki-san about it.” Another teammate suggested an arm full with bats. He could have gone first but decided to wait for them anyway.

“I think we have to ask the coach about that.” Hiraga said.

Sato looked reluctant, more disgusted by the thought but didn’t say anything. He didn’t talk a lot or even bothered to involve himself in conversations.  
Organizing a match wasn’t Mizugakis responsibility, nor did students have the authority to do so.

“Can’t we just go to Mizugaki?” the teammate asked, preferring talking to someone around their own age.

“No, I’ll talk to the coach.” Hiraga decided, and Sato made up his mind to accompany him without having been asked. Arguing against it wasn’t an option.

He handed the gear to their teammate, who now looked like an overloaded camel, and followed Hiraga as he jogged to where the coach was standing.

He had his arms crossed in front of his chest, head held high and acting like he was doing something, as always. Hiraga and Sato took their caps off before approaching him, Sato staying a bit behind.

“Coach.”

He glanced at them. It gave Hiraga the distinct sensation of being devalued. He swallowed it down. Someone had to do it, for the team. They needed the real experience it was his responsibility as captain to take care inform the coach of that. At least, he thought so. Not that he had a lot of experience of being a captain… 

“Should… isn’t it time for us to have a match against another school?”

The coach smiled, like he was hiding that he hadn’t had had the thought of doing his job as a teacher even once.

Satos eyes narrowed. Had he waited for one of them to actually complain about it?

“Of course. I’ve already been contacting the surrounding schools. We’ll have a match soon.”

‘Against who?’ Sato thought.

“I’ll inform you once it’s clear. Now go back to practice.” the coach was still smiling but there was a hidden bother in his body language, like he just shooed them off.

Sato held his nose unnecessarily high as a subtle sign of defiance. His presence becoming a hurdle for the coach to dismiss Hiragas words.

“A-ah I see, thank you.”

Hiraga gave him a short bow, which Sato mimicked and hurried off again. His steps were faster than usual, something that didn’t got past his old friend.

“That took the last nerve out of me.” Hiraga sighed. He could feel his heart racing in his ears. Talking to a teacher like that was really hard after being so used to always just following a lead. He might have been able to keep a normal face but internally he was screaming. He had never been in a position that gave him special authority before. Having a voice was… weird. Not bad. Just… intimidating.

Anyway, there was something else to concentrate on. “I can’t wait to finally go up against another school! Who do you think it will be?” Hiraga had that all familiar spark in his eyes he always did when he was excited. One of the very few things that could make Sato smile. Though he couldn’t mirror it this time. 

“Who knows if we’ll even have one.”

“What do you mean?” 

The vice captain glanced at the coach. He had his doubts.

 

……

 

“Uhm… Where exactly are we going?” Ishiki asked nervously, sitting beside Shun and Hashimoto. 

Changing shades spilled through the windows as the train passed blurry shapes of trees and the countless man-made structures.

“Practice!” Hashimoto replied, leaning forward so he could see past Shun.

That didn’t do a lot to help him…

“Then why are we going here instead of practicing at school? We have a field there…”

“It‘s more practical to play at the park, though.” Hashimoto said.

That did not help either. 

There was a park nearby their school, too. Actually, there were about three. The school had a pretty nice location.

“Ah, I see…” Ishiki just didn’t know how to argue with that, or dare to. It always took a few moments for him to say what was on his mind, like a machine that first had to warm up before moving. Talking to him was all just about patience.  
He felt uncomfortable with silence but also uncomfortable with talking, making him appear timid. Not to forget that he was also curious. In bigger groups it seemed easier for him because, if he asked quietly, he could hide in it.

“Do you always come here for practice?” Ishiki asked as the train rolled into Nitta station and they stepped outside. 

“Yeah, it’s the park right over there.” Shun pointed to where it was visible in the surrounding mountains. He approximated it to be about a fifteen minute walk away. 

Usually, they’d go off at the station in Yokote but there had been a problem with the connecting train so they took the next one that would get them close enough. 

“Mizugaki-san’s got some kid who’s really good at teaching and stuff to help us.” Hashimoto said, his steps mirroring his unnatural enthusiasm, so he was a few paces in front of Shun and Ishiki, who walked like normal people, so turned and walked backwards instead.   
Shuns attempts on keeping his lips from curling upwards into a smile at the though if him falling in to a bush or the next inanimate abject was futile.

“A kid, you mean a like a child?”

“I think he’s about ten?” Hashimoto looked at Shun questioningly.

Shun shrugged. “I don’t know. Should be around that age.”

“Seiha’s a cool kid. He’s funny and’s got a lot of patience, especially compared to out Mizu-kan over there.” Hashimoto said, combining Shuns last name with the last syllable of the Japanese word for coach. 

“I’m only impatient is because you don’t know how to listen even after I’ve told you for the twentieth time.”

“That’s because your explanations make no sense!” Hashimoto complained.

“I can’t help you when I can’t toll whether it’s supposed to go “Whooosh”, or “Bhooosh!” What even is the difference between those two?” Shun didn’t actually care for the answer. 

Hashimoto raised his hands to chest level and moved his fingers as though trying to visualize the sound. “Well, one’s supposed to go “Whooosh!” and the other is supposed to go “Bhooosh!”, it’s not that hard to understand.”

“No, it’s hard to understand.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.” Ishiki agreed.

“You’ll get it once you pitch for yourself!” 

Ishiki laughed nervously, “I’m not so sure of that.”

 

…….

 

The field was empty, as they had hoped and they squeezed through the gap in the chain link fence, that being the easier way than walking around the entire field, and left their bags in the shadows of the trees surrounding it.

“So, show me what you’ve got.” Shun demanded, hand on his hips.

Ishiki cocked his head in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“Oh come on! You’ve been trying to pitch yourself at least a few times, haven’t you?”

Ishikis face turned red and he looked down. Though he nodded meekly.

“Really? That’s so cool! How often have you practiced?” Hashimoto asked.

“I… not a lot. Just a few times. I tried out some stuff…” 

“Well, just show me what you’ve learned.” Shun said before Hashimoto could ask any more questions. There was no use in having him tell them instead of showing them. 

 

Since Ishiki looked uncomfortable being watched by more than one person during the first presentation of his amateur moves so Shun send Hashimoto off with the order to do some cartwheels, which he turned out to be surprisingly good at. 

From what he saw Ishiki had tried to copy what he had seen from matches on TV. Shun looked him over. Something that probably made him uncomfortable but he did his best to push the feeling aside. He gave his best: face serious and his lips pressed into a thin line as he concentrated. 

“Not bad.” Shun said. “But there’s one problem.”   
Ishiki tried following him with his eyes nervously as Shun walked around him. “W-what?” Suddenly, Shun gave him a rough slap in the back. “You’re too tense! You need to relax!”

Ishiki flinched in surprise, like he had expected something more… well, more. At least he looked a little more at ease now. 

“The main point of this is to have fun. Don’t worry so much.”

“Yeah, I’ll try that…” Ishiki said. He sounded genuine, like Shuns words were something little he had always wanted to hear. Usually telling people to calm down did the opposite. Or did that only apply to when they were angry? 

“But uh…” Ishiki rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“What?”

“Exactly how do you relax?”

Shun blinked, baffled. “Well… you just relax your muscles?”

What kind of question was that? It should be obvious. Like, just sitting down and cooling down from what had happened during the day, doing things like reading a book, hanging out with friends, or playing video games while doing nothing but occasionally moving an arm to put a snack into you mouth.   
But that wasn’t the kind of relaxation Ishiki needed…

“Hey, Hashimoto, how do you relax?” he called over the field. 

Hashimoto looked up from where he had apparently card wheeled into a bush. “By playing baseball!”

‘Of course…’ 

Shun sighed, “Well, just try thinking of something that makes you feel comfortable.”

“Okay.”

“Or you could try thinking of the scariest thing that you‘ve ever experienced: Whatever you‘re afraid of won‘t be as horrifying anymore then.”

Ishiki gave him a horrified look. “Please don’t say that kind of stuff.”

Shun laughed and patted the younger boys shoulder. “Anyway, don’t worry so much. You don’t have to do everything alone. After all, you’re part of the team: we’ve got you back. Just relax and have fun.”

Ishiki nodded again. “Uhm… Mizugaki-san?” He moved to do another wind-up.

“Hm?”

“You went to a powerhouse school, right?”

“Yeah, why?” 

“Were you strong?”

“Definitely.” 

The word left Shuns mouth without hesitation. 

“What was that like?”

“It was fun.” A small nostalgic smile played across Shuns lips. “A lot of fun.”   
At the same time he had the urge to make a grim expression. A lot of fun and a lot of hardship.   
So much so he had wished to finally just put an end to it and move on from everything that had happened. And things that hadn’t. Shun shook the thought off. There were other things he needed to worry about.

 

“What are you two doing?” Hashimoto asked, jogging over to them. He had sticks and leafs in his hair.

“Just chatting.” Shun replied. 

“Seiha’s here. I saw him at the other side of the field.” Hashimoto said. 

Shun looked at where he was pointing and he could see the small figure behind the fence. Seiha waved at them excitedly. He called Shuns name from the other side of the field. Well, rather around the corner to their side of the field, since their were four. Seiha didn’t have a voice loud enough to call across the whole diamond.   
Shun greeted the young boy with a raise of his hand while Hashimoto gave him a fist bump. 

“Who are you? Are you here to practice too?” Seiha asked Ishiki immediately, with that complete lack of hesitation typical for children.

“Uh… yeah.”

“”I’m Seiha. Nice to meet you!”

“I’m Ishiki. It’s nice to meet you too.”

“I borrowed catcher gear this time so you guys can throw all out.” Shun picked up the big plastic bag he had been carrying but put down when watching Ishiki.

Hashimoto let out an excited, “Awesome!”

‘How did he not notice I was carrying it the entire time…’ Shun wondered.

“That doesn’t mean you won’t have to aim. I’m going to give you signs soon.”

“Signs…?”

“You see. I’ll show them to you. Seiha, can you teach Ishiki the same you did when you first taught me?”

“Of course!”

“Call me when you guys feel like switching.”

Hashimoto helped Shun put his catcher gear on before he got send to the mound. Seiha was being just as strict with Ishiki as he had been with Shun but still managed to keep him at ease with his upbeat attitude.   
They chatted avidly while practicing. Ishiki was still a bit hesitant and needed a while to reply, when he did it was still speaking quietly. Seiha really had the ability to make everyone around him feel at ease. He actually saw Ishiki smile for once. 

They practiced for quite a while and Hashimoto showed no signs of fatigue. All the extra laps he had really paid off; he wasn’t even complaining anymore, like it had no effect on him, while Ishiki began to grow tired. He probably hadn’t thought pitching was that hard.   
They switched positions on regular basis.   
Ishiki looked a bit out of place on the mound. Like he was trying to make himself look smaller but at the same time the elevated position seemed to fascinate him. 

Having that look change into one of confidence that he belonged there would be a great addition to the team. Shun was curious to see how it would turn out.

Shun called it a day and they grouped up. He bought something to drink for all of them from a vending machine nearby.   
There were more of those things than fast-food restaurants in Japan. And probably more deaths thanks to people getting squashed by them, too.

The cold liquid field like an extinguishing wave putting out the fire in their parched throats. Shun had made sure they stayed hydrated but their water bottles had warmed up under the harsh sunlight, which was understandably gross.  
They sat down in the shadow of the surrounding trees to chat and cool down. Small specs of sunlight broke through the leafs, peppering them with just the right balance to be comfortable.

“Ne, we’ve had a lot of matches lately. We’re on a real wining steak; it’s been fife matches we’ve won in a row now!” Seiha said excitedly.

“That’s amazing. You guys must be really good.” Ishiki said. 

Seiha nodded with a bright smile. “Yeah, but we can’t get careless. We always give all we’ve got.”

“That’s a pretty mature way of seeing it.” Shun said, genuinely, though he purposefully made his expression look a little more over the top to make Seiha laugh.

“I’ve been wondering;” Ishiki started, “Exactly how did you guys get to know each other?”

“He’s some guy named Harada’s little brother.” Hashimoto said. Again not being very helpful. 

“The last match I had in junior high was against Seihas older brother. Through some coincidences (which weren’t actually coincidences at all), Shugo and I ended up playing friendly match with him and some friends of his and Seiha pitched for us. I actually only managed to hit a fly from him. I was surprised at how good he was.” Shun explained.

“You two were really good, too! It was lots of fun!” Seiha said.

“Well, thanks. We had fun too. I met him again a few month ago and thought he’d be able to help us out.”

Seiha nodded. “Hm-hm, and you jumped when I said hello.” 

Did he have to include that part…

“I was just lost in thoughts.”

“Yeah, you do that a lot. You’re pretty jumpy.” Hashimoto said. 

“I’m not. People just have the habit of just randomly popping up out of nowhere.” Especially Shugo. A guy of that size shouldn’t be allowed to move like a freaking ninja! He had almost given him a heart attack so many times!

“Na, you’re just jumpy.”

“You’re certainly not one of those people. I can hear you from ten miles away.” 

Hashimoto huffed. “I’m gonna startle you some day, promise.”

“I don’t need a promise like that.”  
Seiha laughed at the teenagers antics. Ishiki looked around the place as Hashimoto and Shun argued. 

“This is a really nice place. I’d like to have a match here one day.” he said.

“Actually, I’d like to have a match, you know, in the first place.” Hashimoto said. His voice was muffled by Shuns hand who was pushing him away by his face.

“You haven’t had one?” Seiha asked in surprise.

“Is that weird?”

“Usually we have a match every second to third weekend.”

“Seriously? Mizugaki, why haven’t we had a match yet? It’s been months!”

“Are you that eager to hit new people with your pitches?”

“N-no! It’s not like I’m doing that on purpose!” Unless it was Katai. Then maybe he did it on purpose.

Shun rubbed his chin dramatically. “Maybe we could make it a valuable tactic.”

“Please don’t. I’d feel bad for them.” Ishiki said.

“Don’t pity you opponent, pity your teammates.” Shun said. 

“But your aim’s really getting better, Hashimoto-kun.” Seiha said with a genuine smile.

Hashimoto sobbed, “Seiha, you’re the only one on my side!”

Ishiki unconsciously rolled his shoulder, eyebrows creased without noticing Shuns eyes on him. 

“What is it?” Shun asked, voice lowered. 

“I can’t feel my shoulder…” Ishiki mumbled. “I mean, it feels kind of…lose?” 

“That’s normal. You aren’t used to the movement. You’ll miss this time once you wake up with sore muscles tomorrow.” Shun said to calm Ishikis worry. He appeared to be the type of person to over think every little ache and sting even if he knew he was being unreasonable. “Give it about three days.”

Ishiki nodded. 

“Yeah, I had super sore muscles at the beginning too. Just keep using your shoulder normally and it’ll go away faster.”

Ishiki nodded again. 

“Hey, Ishiki-kun, what do you think of baseball? Do you like it?” Seiha asked. 

The first year hesitated, “Yeah, I guess so.” Even if his main goal was to use it to work on his social skills and confidence he had always liked it.

“Is it fun?” Seiha prodded, wanting to hear someone else enjoy something he loved. It was obvious he adored the sport. He was the type who could genuinely enjoy it without feeling any pressure. It made Shun feel a little guilty in comparison, like he was being a fake.

Ishiki didn’t hesitate this time. “Yeah, it’s lots of fun.”

The relief he felt at those words surprised Shun. They were having fun even with everything that was happening.   
It was good. As long as they had fun it was fine; they could just enjoy themselves without ever finding out the reason behind Shuns insistence on encouraging them into becoming a good team.

“But man, I can’t wait to have a match already. How are we supposed to gain respect if no-one knows us? It would be so cool to have people point at us and say stuff like, “Isn’t that Nishiura? I heard they’re super strong.”, and “We gotta be careful when playing against them.”, that would be so awesome!”

Shun grinned, “Yeah, it’s a cool feeling.” 

Though, Shugo constantly getting roped off fans and members of other teams, those two tended to be the same thing quite often, who wanted to talk to him was pretty annoying.   
He always had to wait for him or collect him. Most of the time either ridiculously far away or right next to them but didn‘t realize they were ready to leave. Seriously, sometimes Shugo acted like a puppy. One that didn’t listen.

“Did you have fan girls too?” 

“Oh my, Ishiki, is that why you wanted to be on the team?”

Ishikis face turned red. “N-no! I was just wondering!”

Seiha looked confused, “Are girls that special?”

They looked at each other awkwardly for having forgotten that they were in the presence of a kid. 

“Don’t ask those two. They’ve probably never had a proper conversation with a girl in their entire lives.” Shun said. Followed by an offended, “Hey!” from the other two.   
“You don’t need to worry about that kind of stuff yet but having a female manager is pretty cool.”

Having one now would be really nice. It’d shave off a lot of the work he was already doing. Or three. They used to have three at Yokote. They had been pretty nice. But more eyes also meant more people who could get suspicious of their situation. He didn’t want to pull any more people into it. 

Seiha looked down and pursed his lips, indicating that he didn’t understand. As Shun said: he didn’t need to. Seiha was the kind of person who treated every person with the same amount of respect, no matter their status or gender. He’d get along with them anyway.

“Talking with them is fun but we don’t have a girls team...” Seiha looked disappointed at not having more people to play with. 

“If you find enough members you could get the school to make one. You can have mixed teams until high school, I think.” Hashimoto said. 

“It depends on the coach.” Shun said.

Seiha made a humming sound, thinking, “I don’t know if our coach would allow that. He’s very strict.”

‘Lucky you.’ Shun thought.

“I’m sure you could convince him.” Hashimoto said with a beaming smile. 

“You think so?”

“Can’t hurt to try. Just round up enough girls who want to play they’ll have to pay attention. Girls are nice and stuff but they can be pretty scary.” Shun said.

“Really?”

Images of a second year class president loudly yelling at another girl climbing the side of the school flashed through their minds.

“Yeah.”

“Hm-hm.”

“Can be.”

But it wouldn’t surprise Shun if Seiha managed to charm his way through the teachers hearts to convince them to either change their minds or get a female teacher to coach for them.

In some ways, the Harada brothers were pretty similar. They just went into completely different directions.

Just like for Seiha, in Haradas eyes everyone was the same and received the same level of respect. The thing was that his overall attitude and arrogance came over as rude even if he just said what was on his mind.   
Students speaking their mind were frowned upon in a school environment. Teachers wanted them to obey and do whatever they wanted without questioning the logistics, even if it was something utterly ridicules. Like cutting your hair or cleaning equipment that was already clean to begin with. And, being too prideful to bow down to something that didn’t make sense to him, Harada got into trouble.

 

He didn’t mean to make everyone around him feel insecure with his unbreaking attitude, doing things they always wished to do but never dared to. Jealousy, pride inferiority complexes: Harada caused all of those things in people so what was wrong with hating him for it?

“Uhm… by the way, who’s that Shugo person you mentioned earlier?” Ishiki asked, timidly worming his way back into the conversation. That his neck didn’t become crooked from always holding his head so low…

“Kadowaki Shugo. Big guy, and amazing slugger. He was on TV pretty often and the big schools were already trying to scout him in junior high. Mizugaki used to be on the same team as him.” Hashimoto said

‘Thanks for the introduction.’ Shun thought.

“That’s pretty cool.” Ishiki said. 

“You didn’t know?” 

“You didn’t know either.” Shun reminded him.

“Shhh!”

“Did you just shush me?! I’m your senpai!”

“On the team we’re all the same!”

“You seem to have a deep misunderstanding of how high school works...”

 

……

 

To Shuns surprise, the coach announced they were going to have a match that weekend. He even chose the starting line-up himself. Shun would have liked to be consoled about that before, but whatever.  
The setup was terrible, not that the options were big, but it was still ridicules, though. 

It was that guys fuck up not Shuns.  
If he wanted to do it so badly he could. Shun had nothing to do with it. He clearly had no idea how the team worked: Hashimoto as the starting pitcher, Katai batting third, something he would certainly complain about, and Shun batting first even though he preferred to bat later to get a better picture on how the opposing pitcher worked - yeah, it was ridicules. 

The opposing team was a relatively small school from the neighboring town. It had been established about ten years ago, if he remembered correctly. 

Excitement filled the team at the news and soft whispers of, “What are we going to do?”, “Did you have a match against them before?”, “I can’t wait!”, “Finally!” hushed through them until Hiraga told them to quiet down. Though he was clearly just as excited as them. 

Shun felt the familiar pricking in his body as it wanted to move and go up against them, swing his bat and go back onto the field.   
It let him ignore the situation a little but it still weighted over him, just barely out of sight reminding him that he wasn’t allowed to enjoy himself. 

He purposefully came home late the day before the match so it would appear less suspicious if he did the same thing the next day as well.

Since the arcade in Nitta was closed Shun had to humor himself with the one near his home. Hopefully the renovations would be finished soon.   
He’d have hung out with his buddies but they were sulking because he had been neglecting them for the baseball team lately, their words not his.   
On occasion he just hung out with his old teammates from Yokote. They were all doing their own thing, whether it was playing baseball themselves, relationship drama, lack of said relationships but just as much drama, or just high school chatter in general. 

He missed the casual atmosphere between them even though he had to lie through his teeth when with them. Pretending everything was normal wasn’t so bad on occasion. 

He used to hang out with his buddy almost every day after school, enjoying the mundanity of high school life, just lazing around exactly like Shun had planned.   
It was laughable in some way: he enjoyed the seemingly endless days that were all the same with no change to the last, a comfortable routine with nothing special or exciting ever happening and now he was cutting his time between caching, homework, studying, living under constant pressure and irritation because of one simple mistake. 

He needed to push those thoughts aside and concentrate on what was right in front of him.

Were it not for the picture he might even have gotten to enjoy coaching. 

 

…….

They lost their first match but it had been fun. Shun felt the familiar chills of excitement run down his spine as he took his position on the field. He had missed it.   
Just for a little bit he could relax and forget his situation. He had to admit he got a bit rusty during his year of peace. 

Like hounds having smelled the first drop of blood the match made them hungry for more: Hiraga talked to a few friends from junior high and convinced them to be their next opponents and once Shun told them about the possibility about playing on Sundays without getting the schools involved the others began to look around too.   
They didn’t do that too often though as Shun informed them that it was risky and could get them into trouble, which was the last thing Shun wanted to have with the coach. 

The Sunday matches were more like a meeting between friends. It was good for the less experienced members as the atmosphere was lighter.   
They weren’t used to how long a match could take yet and got exhausted quite often, causing Shun to increase their stamina training even more than he already did.

They lost their next official match as well as the one after that but the team didn’t let it get to them, instead they became more excited and wanted to prepare for their revenge.

They were getting better fast. Barely noticeable changes at the beginning that didn’t escape Shuns sharp eyes. Small differences in body languages, backs held straighter, less hunched over and huddled together like they were trying to hide themselves. They still stood close but now they did it like a group that began belonging together. They weren’t fully there yet but they were getting closer.  
At first glance they looked like armatures but a certain confidence in their strides gave the other teams the sensation that they couldn’t let their guard down.

It was funny in Shuns eyes and the others seemed to enjoy that kind of attention. Like a spring trap startling their the visitors of a haunted house or pulling an ace out of their sleeve.

They lost the next match as well. Shun didn’t say anything but he knew they really needed to win soon. 

Someone didn’t like how they were doing and Shun knew he was the one who would end up being blamed for their ’failure’.

The atmosphere around the team was much more relaxed when the coach wasn’t around. Like a dark cloud constantly hovering above them and peaking over their shoulders had finally disappeared.   
But, unfortunately, the coach still insisted on deciding the starting lineup and making some kind of ‘strategy’ for every match he set up and acted as if he should be praised for it. It was annoying and childish, not to forget that he sucked at it too and Shun had to spend most of his time correcting or making the best out of the mess he had made. Shun didn’t have the authority to tell him to stop that nonsense; it was the coaches own fault if they failed because of it. 

They finished up cleaning after practice and when the coach told him to go to the locker room Shun already knew what was going to come.

He handed his things to his teammates and silently followed him. They were already done so no one was going to interrupt them. 

The door closed behind them. It was almost pitch black inside as the room had no windows.

The coach let Shun take a few steps inside, staying with his back to the door, cutting off his only exit. 

“What are you doing, you’re supposed to make them win!” 

“If you don’t like the way I coach how about you start doing it yourself!”

Furious the coach raised his hand. “Sensei, if you touch me I will contact the authorities.” Shun said sternly, eyes cold and calculated as he was completely serious.

“I want you to fix them!”

“They are still beginners, I can’t make them improve over night; it takes time!”

“You’re just being lazy. Work harder.” 

‘Oh, go fuck yourself!’ Shun though. Someone who didn’t do shit had no right to call anyone lazy.

Suddenly, the coach laughed. He fucking laughed with that fucking disgusting smile on his face Shun hated so much. “It really looks like the picture wasn’t enough motivation for you. It would be bad if you just happened to fail your exams.”

Shun bit his lip. “I can write good grades just fine!” he said confidently, but there was a pit in his stomach. He was average if not a bit above that.  
But if a teacher really had it out for him it didn’t matter how good he was. If he kept insisting on his grades being wrong he could have a third party look them over and get the school into legal trouble if he was proven right.

“You’re so cold. Don’t you care what happens to Kadowaki-kun at all?”

‘Don’t say his name.’ Shun though. He had no right to. It was disgusting.

“Maybe I should have went after him instead.” 

Shuns stomach sank.

“His school would never hire someone like you.” Shun stated, not showing any of what he felt on his face. But what could he do to Shugo? He went to a big school filled with prodigies. He had no special authority and they had skilled and responsible teachers. There was nothing that guy would get out of it. Especially not money. 

“Oh they don’t need to. But how do you think Kadowaki-kun will feel if you had to quit baseball because you don’t know how to listen?”

The color drained from Shuns face. 

If Shugo had to quit…?  
He was never going to see the view of that broad back, twisted sideway, muscles rippling under the tight shirt after he just hit a homerun again? That warm smile when he was excited to go up against a strong opponent everyone else was afraid of.   
That confidence that made them believe they could do it, because Shugo didn’t even think of the possibility of losing. 

Shugo should just throw him away if push came to shove. But he knew that he wouldn’t.

“I don’t care what happens to him.” Shun hissed through gritted teeth. His nails dug deep into the skin of his palms leaving crescent marks still visible hours later. 

“How heartless of you. Or is it that you’re bitter because you got rejected? Though I guess that‘s not exactly how it went”

“What kind of relationship we’re in is non of your business!”

“Well, whatever. I just wanted to make things clear. Please do your part of the agreement: make them work harder, I don’t keep them around to lose. Perform you part of the deal and there’ll be nothing to worry about. I’m sure you’ll find a way to make them get better.” 

Deal? He was acting like they had an actual business agreement on it, instead of just an adult blackmailing a student. Who did he think Shun was, some kind of miracle worker?

“You’ve made your point.” 

“How nice to hear that!” The coach said happily with that same disgusting smile on his face Shun just wanted to rip into pieces. 

That shitty excuse for a human being patted him on the shoulder as he walked past him and Shun had the urge to throw up. “I expect great things from you, Mizugaki-kun.”

It took everything in Shun not to spin around and shout at him to go fuck himself. 

He cursed loudly and slammed his fist into the next locker. 

Shugo had always hated having to pick between two things. If he wanted both he wanted both and saw no reason to pick on over the other. Like he didn’t understand that sometimes choices had to be made.   
He was so childish, just wanted to play baseball and spend time free with Shun. Shun didn’t want to admit that last part but it was one of those truths he could not deny. For Shugo it was as though those two things came together in one package anyway. Everything else was just byproduct he had to settle in order to play comfortably. 

And Shun had made sure it stayed that way. Always watching and always pulling the strings to assure he could walk tall and proud. And he’d relish the strength and greatness Shugo emitted when he was in top form. They all did.  
Ever since they were children he had loved that view of Shugos back against the horizon. Wanted to watch it, watch it and watch it all over again, like it was the only thing he could still enjoy even if he didn’t want to. Not matter how much they fought or how much venom was between them- and now that was supposed to disappear because of him? Forever?

Because he couldn’t keep it to himself? Because he just had to tell him? 

What Shugo said that day had already been so weird, so unusual, yet Shun couldn’t say he had been surprised by it. It had suited him so well. 

If Shugo had never spoke those words to him maybe he would have been able to forget.

But possibility did not equal desire. 

That warmth, the familiarity he had grown so used to it became a part of him, the comfort of consistency that was as inconsistent as a flowing river - the love he made him feel, not necessary romantic, a tenderness and loneliness trying make his body break and slip through the cracks of his carefully erected barriers.  
He had gotten so good at hiding it.   
How much he just wanted to hug him, get close to him again like the pull of a magnet re-enticing him whenever he tried to move himself away, from Shugo, from everything, and the frustration always following short in it’s tracks. 

He had wished for it so many times but it never happened aside from those few times during celebratory cheers of emerging victorious in an important match. 

He had enjoyed those moments of being pulled into Shugos arms greatly in secret: carefully hidden those desires deep inside himself. Smiled and teased him while swallowing a mouth full of nails. 

Shun just wanted to scream. Instead, he kicked the locker.  
Had he been in a different state of mind he might have heard the quiet shuffling sound inside or the dent he left in the metal.

“Shit…!” he whispered again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much to making a shorter chapter and not taking as long...
> 
> I split this chapter into two parts because it just looked and read better. it's mainly unedited so if you see any mistakes or inconsitencies please tell me in the comments.
> 
> i hape you enjoyed the little analysis on Harada and Seiha. i had fun writing it ^^


	7. Things don't match (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in case you have read the previes chapter before the 05.19. 2018 i'd advice you reread it as i've heavily edited it and split it into two chapters, so if you've read the original version you'll find a few scenes in this one familiar. if you haven read it yet please enjoy ^^

Shun increased the training regiment and became stricter. It appeared he was more silent too. Only occasionally he broke out into his usual acts of teasing and fooling around, but most of the time he was more silent.  
When he said training camp was going to be hell he wasn’t lying. In fact, it had been a severe understatement. Each evening they felt like dying. Their training schedule had gotten even tighter and lighter practice was viewed as rest. Actual breaks were used for short power naps by several of them, but that had nothing to with what Shun had been told. He had been planning to do it like that from the very beginning. Maybe just not as strict.

Shun hardly joined them anymore, too occupied with supervising them. He still got his fare share of practice in but having been a baseball player almost all his life the exhaustion didn’t get to him as much. 

At least sleep cam to them easily. Too tired for midnight chatter as they were. 

“Wake up, we aren’t done yet!” Shun said. He sat down on his futon with a notebook in his hand. 

Groaning and shifting of the others rolling around on their own beddings met him in response. It wasn’t lights out yet but some of them had already flopped down without even bothering to slip under the thin covers while others were still changing or sitting around calming down from the day. 

“Why must you torture us so much, Mizu-kan?” Hashimoto whined. He was one of the members that were already almost asleep.

“Shut up and take a look.” Shun flung the notebook down on the sheets, catching the others curiosity. Slowly they circled around him. There were names on the paper, their names, connected with colors and different types of lines. 

“How many of you guys have watched an official match life before?” Shun asked.

Hiraga, Sato, Hashimoto and two others spoke up. 

“Did you pay attention to the dugouts?” 

“Of our or the opponents team?” Hiraga asked. 

“Doesn’t matter.” Shun said.

“Not really.”

“Me neither.”

“I guess it’s easier to notice on TV.” Shun said. “You might seen it before, when the camera shows it, that the coach or someone in the dugouts is doing strange gestures. Clapping, tipping their hat, touching the chest and so on-”

“Yeah, I think I saw something like that. They‘re signs, right?” Hiraga asked.

Shun nodded. “Since the field is so wide shouting would have no use and would just inform the opponents team of what you’re planning. They help tell the fielders to close in or go into the outfield whatever suit’s the situation or strategy. Sometime the signs are for the pitcher as well, the coach can tell him to change his pitching style, go on the offense or defense.” 

Shun glanced at Hiraga. “A good catcher is needed to catch those pitches even if he doesn’t know where it’ll go. The easiest way is to make a subtle sign between the battery, like looking sideways, a gesture or certain expressions, when the pitcher received a sign from the dugouts.”

He looked back at the notebook. “Usually, it would be the coach to take care of those signs. That’s not the case for our team. I’d do it but since I’m on the field as well that’s not possible, so we have to do something else.” 

The others listened tensely, all signs of fatigue temporarily having left their minds. 

“Of course shouting and gestures aren’t possible. They’re too easily to be missed when you’re concentrating. So we’re going to do this.” 

Shun pursed his lips and made a long, drawn out whistling tone. 

“Whistling?” Katai asked.

“Exactly. Each of you will have a tone assigned to you. You need to memorize it. Don’t bother about the others. Get yours first. It’ll be best if you practice whistling in your free time.”  
“But will we be able to hear it over the field?” Ishiki asked. 

“Not all of you, no. That’s why, if you hear me whistle a tone, you’ll repeat it.”

“Like chain mail?!”

Shun nodded, smiling. They were picking up quickly. “One day you’ll be able to tell all tones apart once you’ve gotten enough practice. I’ll let you listen to the tones now.”

“But what exactly will they communicate?” Hiraga asked. 

“Where you need to go. Left, right, mid, center. Let me show you now.”

They listened actively. Shun gave each of them a sheet of paper and a differently colored pen. Whenever they were sure they heard their tone they were supposed to draw a line.  
Shun kept count on how many times he called who and compared them to the sheets. He let them hear to their tones several times and try to copy them so they could get the basics ingrained in their minds. There was no way they could memorize them all in one night but they had times. It would come during physical practice. 

The system was rather simple. When he needed the team to close in he’d whistle a long, drawn out light tone. When he needed them to spread out it’d be an equally long, deep tone. They’d move until the tone stopped. Then he’d use the personified tones to make adjustments in the positions. 

There were several more other tones that involved batting positions, pitches, whether to do a steal or not and so on. But he could get to those later. At the moment he’d concentrate on the basics. The expandable stuff would come later when they had gotten used to it in practice. 

If there was no time for whistling just the good old quick shout would do the trick. 

 

………

 

Practice went on as usual, plus the whistling system being used. It was still exhausting as hell and they all felt like dying.

They were on the outfield. Collecting balls as practice was ending. They’d have to run a few more laps it’d wrap up completely. Then was lunch and another few laps after that before they could got to sleep.

“Do you think Mizugaki is angry because we’ve been losing so often?” a teammate asked. 

Hashimoto was being strangely quiet and didn’t reply, but Sagawa nodded. 

He had been way stricter lately.  
It was like the leash around their necks had been tightened. Slowly, more and more, keeping them at bay. And not only them. They weren’t the only problem. It was affecting Shun as well.

Shun had always been strict, that much was true, they had always known, but never too strict. Has made sure to keep up with practice himself and managed to include their personal growth. Instead of just telling them what to do, he waited, giving them the opportunity to think of a solution themselves. He gave them responsibility and time to want to improve on their own even if it took longer, and when they were realized they couldn’t do it on their own he’d give them an answer.

But now there was a sense of urgency in his actions. Like he still wanted to help them grow but had to restrain himself from doing so. Occasionally, he still did it but with a tension, as though he was ignoring a risk. every time he passed an opportunity it seemed to hurt his soul. He was probably under stress too. 

“Uhm… have you ever heard him and the coach talk?” Hashimoto asked hesitantly.

“’Talk’ like what?” 

“No, forget about it. It doesn’t matter.” 

“…Oookay?”

“Isn’t it kind of unfair?” another teammate asked. He hadn’t been paying attention to Hashimotos question.

“We’ve just gotta work harder then!” Hashimoto stated.

“But…”

“No buts! Don’t you want to pay him back too? We’d never have gotten as far without him, and I don’t think he’s blaming us. He working at his best to make us better. It doesn’t suit him to hold a grudge about something like that.” 

They looked at Shun, who stood with his arms crossed at the edge of the field, watching the team practice with a grim expression on his face. It didn’t suit him. It really didn’t feel like it was directed at them.  
When Shun got angry at them it was never unjustified. If they got yelled at it was because they made a stupid mistake that could have been avoided and they knew that. 

“Well…” They stuttered, a bit guilty for acting so accusatory.

“Besides, I want to get stronger! I want a real tournament!” Hashimoto said enthusiastically. But something about Hashimotos speech was off. His body language wasn’t as extreme as usual and voice wasn’t as loud as usual. Like it was hard for him to keep up.  
The fact that it would be considered speaking volume for everyone who wasn’t Hashimoto made it easy understandable that it slipped past them. 

The others chuckled, “That’s Hashimoto for you.” 

“Alright!” Sagaw got up, stretching his stiff back from being hunched over for so long. “Let’s work extra hard, for Mizugaki-sans sake too!” 

Even if it would be agonizing and they’d feel like dying they’d be ready to get up again for themselves and the person they felt nothing but gratitude towards. He went out of his way to make sure they’d be in best condition and they’d pay him back for it tenfold.

 

……..

 

The place they held training camp at was more of a shag than a house. Old and tattered. It looked as though a strong wind could blow it away. The coach was probably to cheap to rent a proper place. Shun wouldn’t be surprised if he just kept most of the money he had been given for himself. 

The field wasn’t well kept either but that didn’t bother Shun. The mountains had plenty of places to practice in. He could chase them around the trails to build up their stamina. They’d hate him for it. Usually it’d be normal for him. He’d see it with humor as they joked around about how ’terrible’ he was, but now the thought made him feel sick. He didn’t want to push them so far. He couldn’t see it with humor anymore.  
He tried to push those thoughts away but they refused to leave. It was a feeling that never disappeared. He was just keeping up an act.

He actually had to stop some of them from overworking themselves when they ran extra laps at night. He knew they wanted to get better but they didn’t understand that doing extra work didn’t necessarily mean improvement. He couldn’t risk any injury with how little players they had. Even if they had more he’d still have reacted the same. And the coach didn’t seem to like that. 

He was looking at him like he was asking why the hell he stopped them. As though he enjoyed seeing them overwork themselves. Shun yelled at them, giving the coach a short glare over his shoulder, silently placing himself between him and the tired team members as he lead them away to bed. When they were about to overdo it he’d stop them, no matter what. Even if the coach looked at him disapprovingly for it. The team was more important.

 

 

How would they turn out if he continued pushing them so hard? They never even uttered a word of complaint, acting like he was always right. They followed his instructions and had fun. Still teasing each other, joking and fooling around, and they were honest with him. 

Shun didn’t know if he should act normal or not, because they certainly did. He probably should. He had no choice but do what he could. It would be better if they didn’t grow too attached to him. Once he was gone they’d be better off too.

 

……

 

On the third day of the camp they had an official match against a nearby school. Hashimoto wasn’t as nervous anymore, quickly having gotten used to standing on the mound and at lest four of them couldn’t hold still with excitement. They chatted enthusiastically with each other and could barely hold still. But there was something vicious about their grins. Something hungry, like you’d expect a predator to look like. 

Katai was being his usual loud mouthed, arrogant self, proclaiming that he’d hit a homerun with every swing, which Shun quickly shut down by reminding him that he hadn’t even managed to hit a single one even during practice.

It resulted in him getting challenged to a useless display of masculinity. Of course, Shun couldn’t back down from that, so they made a bet on who’d be able to get on base more often, which Shun was certain he would win, just so you know. If Katai won he would have to give him command over the team for two weeks while, if Shun won, Katai was going to clean the entire equipment as well as the room all on his own for the next fife practice sessions. 

Katai had no better idea on how to help the team, he just didn’t like being ordered around and wanted command for himself. It was a display of power - nothing special for a big guy like him. 

The other team greeted them and at the first glance Shun noticed that mast of them looked like first years aside from a few exceptions. 

It was obvious the coach had only managed to convince the other schools principal to let them play against the second string - something he didn’t mention. Oh, what a surprise. Had Shun been the principal he wouldn’t have agreed on a match either: they were a newly formed team with no reputation and therefore no appeal to other schools.  
Of course the coach had sold it to them as something special he needed to be praised for instead of the job he was supposed to be doing. Shun really wanted to comment on it.

From his spots in the dugouts, Shun watched the other team warm up. They made a big guy do practice swings in an attempt to intimidate them.  
Something that called to make a comment about Katai being stronger but not able to hit anything. It caused some banter between a few of them which Shun happily joined by riling Katai up just a bit more. That was until Hiraga told them to stop that nonsense.  
It helped distract Hashimoto from the nervousness that had wormed in  
with his excitement.

Once they warmed up they got into position and started the match.

 

………

 

It was a win for them. Finally.  
The match went into extra innings and they just barely managed to scrape by, exhausted as they were from training camp. Hashimoto had been pitching harder than usual and his pitches veered more than they should, like they were confused, but as long as they got them a win he was going to use him.

Shun won his bet against Katai as well, who was probably going to spend the next few afternoons in the batting center out of frustration. After he was done cleaning, of course. 

They kept a positive attitude they did when they lost. The team really seemed to love matches.  
Hiraga, for that matter, looked like he was about to spin in circles. “This was so much fun. I want to have another one!” The others mumbled and laughed in agreement. 

They had to let several batters walk because he hit them on accident. That it was just an exhibition game was probably what kept him from feeling too guilty about it. That they wouldn’t have to clean up for the next few days also helped keep their upbeat attitude. 

A few members of the other team overheard them and one stomped over looking quite irritated with the others following him ‘oh no…’ looks on their faces. 

It was easier to tell which year they were in by how they acted. There were a few tall ones thrown in but their height didn’t mean anything.  
No one would have though Nagakura had just gotten into junior high by just looking at him, and Shugo had been mistaken for way older when he was only 14/15. The usual reaction to him telling them his actual age was: “No way!”.  
He probably needed to shave by now. A beard would make him look so ridicules the thought alone gave Shun the urge to grin. He’s love to see that. Though, there was also the possibility of him never being able to grow a beard even with his masculine appearance, which would be equally hilarious.

“You think hitting people is fun? You could have seriously injured me!” the guy snapped. He was one of the batters who experienced one of Hashimotos pitches on a more physical level than preferred. A tall lanky guy who was probably second year, finally getting some of the authority he had always wanted and growing arrogant (or becoming an asshole) in the process. Or he was just a troublemaking first year.

“Really?” Hashimotos asked. His excitement a bit out of place. He really could fish a compliment out of everything. 

The guys face turned red with fury, “What the hell is wrong with you, you little-”

Quickly, Hiraga placed himself between them before he could grab his teammate. “Please calm down. He had no intention of hitting any of you.” 

“Right, is that your strategy? That’s disgusting!” The guy pushed Hiraga out of the way with ease.

Hashimoto raised his hand in a non-threatening manner, “I didn’t mean it like that, I swear! I just never heard my pitches were fast enough to actually hurt someone. I-I know it sounds disturbed and I really didn’t mean it! My aim’s just a little off…”

“A little?! You almost hit me in the balls!”

“I told you needed to wear protection…” Hiraga mumbled.

“That’s what you meant?!”

“Well, no… but you can‘t always tell where it goes…”

“Oh really, am I supposed to wear armor next time?!”

“I mean...” Hashimoto started. Hiraga shut him up with a glare.

“Now, now, let’s all calm down. We’re all friends here.” Shun leaned on Hashimotos shoulder. “You’re a pretty good batter I’d love to have us go up against you again. Don’t you want to see how he develops? I bet you’re aching to have an actual match against him.”

The guy grumbled but the glint in his eyes was undeniable. ‘Bingo.’ Shun thought.

“I’ll show you what I can do next time!” Hashimoto said, confidently.

The guy glared at him and Hashimoto hid behind Shun, “Y-you wanna fight!?”

“You better be ready to go up on that. I won’t tolerate any of your lazy pitches again!”

“O-of course!”

Hashimoto still didn’t fail to stick his tongue out to the other remember once he turned his back.

“Alright. We’ve had luck that they underestimated us this time but they’ll be weary the next. We’ve got to get our shit together by then. Let’s give them a nice surprise!” Shun said with a devilish smirk.

The others mimicked his expression and jokingly straightened their backs “Yes Sir!”

“Armor would be kind of cool though…”

“Hashimoto, shut up!”

…….

 

Katai still kept challenging him for useless competitions and he barely won those that demanded physical attributes, like height and strength, over skill.

“Man, you’re out of shape. This had It’s barely been ten laps.” Shun said, looking down at Katai who was hunched over, leaning on his own knees and breathing heavily. 

Not that it hadn’t gotten Shun to warm up but he wasn’t nearly as bad as Katai. The more mass the more energy it took to move it. Although they weren’t necessary, Shun enjoyed them. Specifically, beating Katai to a pulp.

He had seen him practicing together with Hashimoto one day during the hour of free time they had after lunch. It was probably his way of showing respect to the pitcher. Though, he hadn’t been very polite about asking him to join. Hashimoto looked neither willing nor happy about having to throw to him.  
Surprisingly enough, Hashimoto didn’t like assholes. Shun had the feeling they could become friends in the future, or at least tolerate each other with a lot of teasing and bickering off the field, like teammates usually were. It was a little like that already. As long as they learned to have each other back on the field they’d be a good team.

Shun spend his nights sleeping tightly but he didn’t sleep well. He felt as though he had been lying too tensely, how people sometimes did when they curled up into a ball, and woke up sore and often with a headache, like he had slept too much. Only rarely he woke up feeling truly rested and without the feeling of a knot in his head. 

They had had one organized for the last day as well, which they lost. The opponents team had had a shortage of players and borrowed some from their first string. Even though they were a bit disconnected they had been a great challenge.

Exams had been before training camp. Luckily (surprisingly) all teammebers passed, even the ones that were lacking academically. Needless to say, all that combined resulted in a few very exhausting weeks and once back at school they were as good as dead, but Shun had other concerns.

 

……

 

Shun starred at the names displayed in the board. His was low. Very low. And in subjects he knew he was good at. All indicating his anger were his fists clenched at his sides. His fellow students thought he was just irritable because of his bad grades, so they didn’t ask questions when he stomped off in a fake casual walk. 

They received their test sheets as well. Numbers way too for what was written on them in dark red jumped out on him like a threat. He only looked at them at home, in his room. He knew he hadn’t given the wrong answers. He studied those subjects each day.

The paper rustled as his fingers clenched hard enough to make it crumple. 

He knew the coach had been messing with the teachers. They treated differently, like he was a trouble maker. Someone who needed to be taught a lesson of respect. Even though they had won the last game he wasn’t allowed to catch a break.

He heard them talk about him behind his back a few times. He was an unruly student who always argued with him and riled the team up against him. The coach was the poor, helpless victim and Shun was nothing but a punk and a villain who loved making his life hell.  
Those kind of rumors spread like wildfires between adults. The coach just needed to complain to them often enough and make up some stories and they’d readily believe him to give Shun a hard time.

Maybe it was some kind of teachers instinct to be an ass.

They were nitpicking unnecessary mistakes, costing him points. Of course, he complained. Not to them but he made sure to make his point known by the other students when teachers were around to hear. he was just met with disapproving looks and silence from the adults, like they thought it was his fault.  
They probably though he didn’t notice, that they were being oh so subtle but he did. 

If they only heard it often enough teachers take on those opinions they heard about students from each other. If a student had a bad reputation they were pretty much done for, even if they had never done anything to justify their wrath. 

One even addressed him as a trouble maker with a disappointing glare. Shun just starred at him in a “What the fuck?” way.

Maybe he should complain to the dean… but since the teachers knew he probably heard about the complaints as well, and since he wasn’t doing anything about it he couldn’t expect any help from him.

There was no one he could rely on for help, especially no adult and guidance counselor held no authority in those regards.

He was on his own.

The truth was, Shun could easily get him fired. He could make a real ruckus for the school. Trouble for everyone and draw unwanted media attention. To avoid that the school ’d do anything to keep him down. And once the students noticed something was going and that they had the option to fight for their rights they’d join in the whole mess as well until the teachers gave in. Mob mentality was a terrifying thing and camaraderie could easily be evoked for your own advantage. Even people who didn’t like each other could work together if there was a mutual enemy.  
He’d give them hell!

Yeah, right.  
That was all just a fantasy. Shuns hands were tied like a lamb being lead to the slaughter house. 

If he didn’t keep his head down it’d be Shugo.  
Shun had done so much to ensure he’d have a good start from his Junior High days into High school. Shugo was born into greatness. He was going to become a professional one day and they, his former teammates, had all been proud to be part of such an amazing persons origin. They knew them were ever good enough to stand at his side but they were still happy.

And that all was threatened to be destroyed because Shun couldn‘t keep it to himself. If he had to quiet… it would all be Shuns fault. He was the one who fucked up. 

Shun gritted his teeth.

Would he really have to force his team to the brink of exhaustion just to save his own skin? He didn’t want to make them hate baseball. They already worked so hard, and even then there was no guaranty he’d even succeed. 

Baseball was a fickle sport; always filled with surprises that could turn the stakes in anyone’s favor no matter how famous or how “good” you were. It was always exciting and never got boring. But now, if he still couldn’t do what was asked of him Shugo would be the one to pay for it.

He didn’t want him to lose what he loved the most but he didn’t want the team to use the team for it just because he couldn’t take care of it himself. He didn’t want them to turn into machines who didn’t know how to enjoy baseball without winning.  
They just wanted to play and have fun. They were good guys; innocent and good-willed, with no bad intentions, always smiling for him and doing their best even when it was hard and they were exhausted. 

He didn’t want to make them hate baseball. He didn’t want them hate him for it. Because he knew they wouldn’t, no matter what. 

Shun flopped down on the floor with his back against the wall of his room. “I’m so sorry guys…” he whispered.

Wasn‘t it all just the result of his own misbehavior? He’d be treated like a child who didn’t know how to listen… Was it really all his fault? 

Anger, despair, mixed with the inability and feeling of utter helplessness to do anything washed over him, pulling him down as it ran through his veins like vials over vials of black ink.

Suddenly, his phone rang. Shun jumped in surprise. Frozen for a moment as it just buzzed in his pocket.  
He didn’t want to pick up. The nonsensical thought of the coach knowing what he was thinking and calling him because of that, as though it was something completely plausible, nagged at him in his mind. 

Slowly, Shun pulled his phone out of his pocket. And wished he hadn’t. Even the coaches the number would have been better than the one displayed on the cracked screen.  
He knew it. Could recite it freely with no problem given how often he had dialed it in the past.

Had you touched a piece of ice with one hand and Shuns with the other you would have noticed no difference. 

After a year of no contact why was he calling now?! 

He couldn’t move. 

He wanted to pick up. Wanted to hear the sound of his calming, warm voice that always made him relax somehow and never carried any malice. Just warmth, genuine and simple emotions, worn on his sleeve. 

But what if someone heard? Who would hear? 

Shun missed him. Wanted to talk to him and tell him everything. 

But Shugo would be in danger if it came out Shun had been in contact with him. What if the coach told Shugo it was all Shuns fault? What if he found out Shuns actions put everything Shugo had been working so hard for at risk, what if Shugo hated him for it? 

He just wanted to hear the comfort of his best friend without having to worry, damn it!

A sound of frustration left Shuns throat and he lunged the phone across the room. It hit the wall opposite of him and fell to the floor. 

Shun buried his face in his hands and closed his eyes as if it could block out his surroundings. The phone kept buzzing and buzzing until it stopped. And he was buried in a world of silence. 

“I’m so sorry, Shugo… I‘m so sorry…” Shun whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> has anyone else noticed that it's been six chapters and the second half of our main pairing has yet to appear?
> 
> and yes, Shun is going to get worse with each chapter.... enjoy!


End file.
